Why Did You Do That?

Admittedly, we felt a little desperate. Our budget for a two-week vacation which included a church convention and a quick cruise was tight from the start. Then our car rental plans had to change at the last second, requiring us to spend twice as much as we'd planned.

So when we boarded a ship in Palm Beach, Florida for Freeport, Bahamas two Sundays ago, the on-board casino was more tempting than usual. Amidst hundreds of slot machines and plenty of blackjack, there was one poker table in the corner -- and we knew it was our chance to balance the vacation budget.

Trouble was, the Texas Hold 'em table had a cash game format -- not the tournament style we feel more ethically comfortable playing. It was real gambling; plunk down some bills in exchange for chips, and you could win more money or lose them all.

ON THE SEA

We were aware of the risk to our limited budget -- and we were aware playing a cash game might hurt other travelers' budgets as well. (But then, do you think they'd admit it if we asked them?) And the stakes were small: a $2/$3 pot limit format. So we handed over $30 to give it a try.

On the first night at Wynmore Casino, our stack jumped to $80 within an hour. Good cards came several times early, and we think our experience in careful play helped. On top of that, we took the "Jesus as your Savior" coin to the table -- and two people sitting around us agreed with the message about Christ.

At the one-hour mark, we left to cash out -- probably to the delight of several players at the table. One couple openly discussed cutting their losses and quitting, before we did. We don't know if they applied the advice of Jesus before sitting down:

Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to finish it? -- Luke 14:28

We told ourselves several times before the trip: "If you can't afford to play poker, you shouldn't play poker." But the risk certainly paid off for us in this case. The dealer kept two dollars for a tip (we admittedly hadn't thought about handing that over after winning hands), so we departed with $78 -- more than doubling our money.

(Then we promptly lost five of them in one "make-or-break" try at blackjack, helped by a casino matching bet offer.)

On night two, the gambling crowd was markedly smaller. Only two women (and for a short time three) played poker. We wanted to "go for it" and win a lot more money -- but our opponents were clever and good. After three hours, our $30 investment stood at $31.

"I'm going to quit while I'm on level ground," we announced -- thankful for a mere one-dollar gain. We were growing internally frustrated, and probably would have gone "on tilt" had we played much longer. Professionals such as Michael Mizrachi get nicknames like "The Grinder" for a reason; this was a grind, feeling more like hard work than play.

A DAY WITH NO RACES

Then last Sunday, we used "Family Day" at the church convention we attended to play at the Daytona Beach, Florida Kennel Club and Poker Room. We checked the room's website in advance, and hoped to get into a $40 "sit-and-go." But the only tournament announced during the afternoon had a steep $275 buy-in -- much more than our tight budget could afford.

So we settled for another cash game, at the $1/$2 table. With a gain at sea of $44, we invested 40. A couple of good hands helped us climb to $62. But this sort of low-stakes game invites players to stick around until the river with marginal hands. Enough players did that to drain away our stack. The final blow came when a 9 of spades on the river gave us a straight -- but a man to our left a straight flush.

(We should note that man with the straight flush had a look at our "Jesus coin." We'll mention his response to it in another post.)

With that loss, we decided our poker playing for the trip was finished. Our cash game profit was all of four dollars, and we didn't dare risk going into the red with a tight budget.

THE LARGER ERROR

Yet here's the amazing thing: we figured the travel budget incorrectly! Only on the final night of the trip did we realize we were counting our "emergency fund" line as part of the actual expenditures. We thought we were limping home with a skimpy eight dollars left to spend -- but the final surplus was more than $150.

In addition, we didn't figure on other people at the church convention being giving to us. A long-time friend invited us to his condo, which led to two nights of free meals. Another friend peeled off a 20-dollar bill for us outside the meeting hall when we explained our Family Day plans, advising us: "Don't spend it all on one hand." (We didn't; that bill stayed in the wallet for days.)

A gift opens the way for the giver and ushers him into the presence of the great. -- Proverbs 18:16

May this Scripture come true for everyone who helped us during the road trip. And yes, we did some giving of our own during the vacation -- providing items for church charity drives in the community. Oh, and we gave back most of our poker profits to total strangers.

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised. -- Job 1:21b

Risk Number 2

Uh-oh -- our latest attempt at cash game poker didn't turn out as well as the first two. It happened Sunday at a poker room in central Florida.

Money invested: $40.

High total: $62.

Low total: $0.

As you might expect, we got out at the bottom.

Much more on this is coming in a few days....

Clean Poker Jokes

Good humor can make you the life of a poker table. Good clean humor might even get you noticed as, well, different. So we're trying to develop a list of clean poker-related jokes to use at tournaments.

True-life example: On our drive home from Panama City, Florida last week, we passed the perfect restaurant for poker players.

Why? It was a pancake house -- called Short Stacks.

(Too bad we'd already eaten Sunday breakfast. We should have stopped and asked for a chip count. Tortilla chips, especially.)

Which brings us to true-life example 2: We told players online Monday we had to "move some of our chips away from the table."

Why? "The Pringles can was getting low."

What clean poker humor would you add?

Poker Night 105: Fourth of Jolly

Now that we're back from the road, we can tell you more about some big winnings on the road. They came last Monday night at the Ebro greyhound park and poker room northwest of Panama City Beach, Florida.

Ebro has cash game poker 12 hours a day, seven days a week (and we do mean cash; no checks or credit cards are allowed to play). It also has nightly tournaments with big cash prizes; we played on the night with the least expensive buy-in -- $35, plus $5 house fee.

We'd guess about 40 people participated. And careful play on our part led to small early gains. At one point, a pair of Kings was good enough for us to eliminate two players. So our chip stack was healthy enough to reach a nine-player final table -- but not dominating. Tentative betting with large blinds hurt us, and led to a big moment....

BLINDS (as best we remember): 300/600/75 (The 75 is an ante everyone pays, whether in the blinds or not)

IN THE POCKET: A-9

Six players are left, and only the top four will be paid -- but one man has proposed splitting the prize money evenly among all remaining players. That sounds good to us, but men with big stacks object so the game continues. So with our stack low, it's time to go -- as in all-in. One player calls us, and leads with J-J.

ON THE FLOP: J-10-8

Ouch -- the opponent has three of a kind. We're in trouble. But then the dealer notes we have an open-ended straight draw.

ON THE TURN: 7.

We can't resist praising the Lord aloud, and clapping our hands a little! The straight is made -- and the river card is an inconsequential 3.

We were struck by how many players pushed all-in at the final table with big chip stacks, as if to get things finished to go home. Enough players did it that we made the final four, to finish in the money! After another prize-splitting proposal was vetoed by a player, we went all-in and failed. (And of course, then the remaining players agreed to split the prize money.)

But still, fourth place earned us $186 -- more than we've ever made at a poker table. (Yes, we did leave a nice dealers' tip.) Our $40 investment paid off fourfold, and Ebro more than made up for the money we lost trying a cash game at Harrah's in Kansas City last year. We resisted the temptation to try another cash game this time. Why spoil a dream poker night, which came true?

MINISTRY MOMENT: This area was every bit as nice and surprising as the tournament result. Two people at the starting table agreed with our "Jesus as your Savior" coin message -- one of them the manager of a Panama City bar which has free poker several nights a week.

At one point a man to our immediate left needed "change" for big chips, and we happy to take care of it for him. To which he said with no prompting from us: "Grace is what it's all about." Absolutely. We'll say more about that another time.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 43 final tables in 105 nights (41.0%) - 10 cashes.

This time it's for real

We went to a northwest Florida poker room Monday night, and played in a real buy-in poker tournament for the first time.

Our buy-in: $35 (+ $5 house expenses).

Payout to us at the end of the evening: $186 -- fourth place out of about 35 players (admittedly a guess).

We think we did well. And we were pleasantly surprised at how many Christians we met -- including one who brought up "grace" without our mentioning it.

Details coming on our return home in a few days.

Poker Night #89: Bigger Isn't Better

Maybe it's just as well that the poker room in north Florida was closed when we stopped there. We wound up losing our proverbial shirt in free poker at Lil Kim's Cove tonight -- never winning a hand, and dropping out in about 16th place in only one hour of play.

We should have known it wasn't our night when we were dealt A-Q early, raised accordingly -- only to find they didn't show up on the board at all. Then there was a show of strength which blew up in our face:

BLINDS: 200/400

IN THE POCKET: Q-J of clubs

We're in the big blind, so we ought to play "for free" -- except the dealer with a huge stack of chips decides to raise 2,000. Our chip stack stands at 4,250, so this is a big decision. After pondering a moment, we call. The small blind player between us calls as well.

ON THE FLOP: Qh-10h-2d

The "small blind" man playing first checks. We have top pair, and decide it's time to take a stand.

"I'm all-in," we say pushing in 2,250.

"You started this," other players at the table say to a slightly puzzled dealer.

"But I had the wrong suit," the dealer answers. A few seconds of thought later, he slams down his cards to fold.

"725 is all I've got," the small blind man quietly says.

"That's OK," we assure him as he calls. At least we'll stay in the game one more hand -- and we could get a 5,000-chip "bounty" by taking him out.

ON THE TURN: 9

These cards are flipped quickly, with neither of us showing.

ON THE RIVER: 5

"I've got a pair of Queens," we say.

"I've got a straight," the other man says. Sure enough, he has K-J -- and caught his open-ender on the turn. Ouch.

MINISTRY MOMENT: We took an Orlando souvenir for a "card protector" tonight, but never could get around in the table talk to our ministry point about Walt Disney World. Perhaps tomorrow.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 37 final tables in 89 nights (41.6%) - 8 cashes.

Playing poker on the road

We wondered if it was possible on a quick getaway to Orlando -- and it was. Billboards along Interstate 75 advertised two poker rooms.

One was in Ocala, but we forgot which exit it was and passed by it Tuesday night too late to turn.

Another one is near exit 451, between Interstate 10 and the Georgia line. But when we stopped there this morning (after turning the wrong way at the exit; no signs help you), it wasn't open yet. Not until 11:30 a.m., it said.

Oh well -- their loss. Potentially.