Poker Night 570: Club Crackers

Many poker rooms have cash game "bad beat jackpots", by the hour or based on a particular combination of cards. Players in tournaments usually don't qualify for them. That's too bad - because we were in the middle of one Wednesday night at Hollywood Casino Indiana:

BLINDS: 75/150

IN THE POCKET: Ace of clubs-7 of hearts

The dealers have not been kind to us so far. Few quality cards have come, yet we bluffed two of them into a modest pot at one point. This Ace is worth trying, especially with no one at the table of eight raising. We call, and about four players get in.

ON THE FLOP: 6c-8c-As

There's the top pair, right there! The play checks to us, and we bet 250. Two players call - and as they do, we note those clubs. If more of them, we feel secure with the "nuts" card.

ON THE TURN: 7c

There's a fourth club - and while we don't notice it right away, we have two pair. We check to see if our opponents are trigger-happy. Sure enough - a man to our left bets 550. Then a man to our right raises to 1,500! What's going on here? Does someone have a pocket pair which turned into three of a kind?

We ponder this a moment, then consider we have about 11,000 chips. It's our biggest risk of the night so far, but decide it's worth taking. We call. So does the man who raised first.

ON THE RIVER: Ad

Yes!! Our persistence leads to a full house.We check once more. So does the man to our left. But the player to the right goes all-in, for 4,550! This is the moment we've been waiting for.

"I'll call," we say with no hesitation.

"I'll fold. Your full house is good," says the man to the left.

"I actually have a full house," we say as we show. Surely we've won this big....

"But he has a straight flush," the dealer points out.

WHAT?!?! Sure enough - the man who pushed displays 5-9 of clubs! He won the pot on the turn, and his bet tried to warn us - but we pushed on to our hurt.

That bad beat was a big blow to us, leaving our stack at 4,250. We fought back with some good rounds in the blinds, reaching 7,550 at the one-hour break and surviving to the final table with 5,500. In our first hand after arriving there, we went for the bundle by going all-in with A-J of clubs.

Trouble is, two other players pushed as well - one with A-J, the other with A-K. Another King on the turn secured that other player a huge pot and a double take-out. We finished the evening tied for ninth out of 17 players (officially tenth).

MINISTRY MOMENT: "Welcome to Hollywood, the place where dreams come true. What's your dream?"

Our first dealer said this several times. We thought it was from a commercial for the casino. He eventually explained it's a line from the movie Pretty Woman. But when he asked us that question, we were thrown for a moment.

"My dream is that this is a nice flop," we answered first. (It was the pre-flop bidding.)

After the flop (which, we should note, was not that nice for us), we had a better answer. "I have other dreams, though. I dream of Jesus Christ coming back to set up the Kingdom of God on this earth."

That should be the ultimate dream of a believer in Jesus. Yet this is a "dream" in our modern-day thinking about them. The Old Testament of that Bible talks about many dreams, which were actually messages from God. But there's also this moment....

When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed. Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.... - Psalm 126:1-2

Some Bible commentaries indicate this was written to celebrate Israel's return to Jerusalem in the era of Ezra and Nehemiah. We'd call it a "dream come true" for that people.

There are many dreams that only God can bring to pass. Only God can bring back Jesus Christ, although we can pray deeply for it (Revelation 22:20). But sometimes, your dream depends a lot on you....

It is pleasant to see dreams come true, but fools refuse to turn from evil to attain them. - Proverbs 13:19 (NLT)

Could God be blocking a dream in your life, because of your evil ways - or, in old-fashioned language, your sins? This verse certainly indicates that. So do some others....

...You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. - James 4:2-3

Bottom line: Pray for God to fulfill your dreams - but check your own life first. Is your motive for the dream proper? Or would it take you down a funnel into deeper sin and more trouble? This is a good time of year for "self-examination" (II Corinthians 13:5) of all our lives.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 217 final tables in 570 games (38.1%) - 46 cashes. Since passing the 500-game mark, we've made 34 final tables out of 70 games. That's one game short of 50 percent!

Poker Night 539: Spade Work

A few weeks ago on a Wednesday night, we hit a royal flush on the very first hand of a tournament at Hollywood Casino Indiana. We returned there Wednesday night, not really expecting to see lightning strike twice. But lo and behold....

BLINDS: 25/50

IN THE POCKET: Ace of hearts-8 of spades

This time it's about the third hand of the tournament. Unlike before, a full table of ten has gathered - the entire field at this point.

"Looks like a big family pot," someone says as almost everyone calls. We're in the Small Blind, and are delighted to join the party.

ON THE FLOP: 7s-10s-7c

There's a pair.... and maybe someone hit a 10. We'll simply check for now. The "family" checks around.

ON THE TURN: 6s

Suddenly our Ace is no longer the key card. We have three different draws: straight (with a 9), flush (another spade) or a straight flush. We'll simply check again. A bit surprisingly, everyone else does the same. Could history repeat itself?

ON THE RIVER; 9s

Why yes... yes, it can! We hit the straight flush!

"Whoever has the eight of spades is in good shape," we believe someone says. Indeed, but how much is that worth?

A few weeks before, we offered 1,000 with the royal flush. Our lone opponent folded. Now in the leadoff position, we act more reluctant. With a shrug, we say, "100?!?!" That's enough to get two callers; everyone else folds.

"You asked about the 8 of spades?" we say.... but the others in the hand interrupt us.

"I've got an 8," one says. OK, it's a straight. The other man's spade makes him a flush. Now we try again?

"You asked about the 8 of spades?" It's been showing throughout the discussion - and it wins us about 700 chips. We tried to mention our royal flush to a couple of other players, but they move on quickly.

Our gains and losses were small in the first hour, and we reached the break with 10,225 out of a starting 12,000. Things looked a bit bleak in the middle of the second hour, but then nice cards started to come. A few good pots kept us around the starting number, and we made it to the final table on a 17-player night with 9,900.

Those numbers worked right away at the final table, as pocket 9's led to a third one on the flop. Our push wound up eliminating two players! Our high total was 28,400, but we couldn't keep up with bigger stacks.

We held on until four players were left, then went all-in with A-6. A caller showed A-4 - but a 4 on the flop gave him a winning pair. We finished fourth, on a night when only the top two earned money. But two final tables this week give us five out of six in the Cincinnati area.

MINISTRY MOMENT: One of the hot topics at the table was ABC television's sudden cancellation of Roseanne, in the wake of a controversial tweet by Roseanne Barr.

"To borrow from a famous book," we told a dealer, "out of the abundance of the heart, a person tweets."

The phrase stumped the dealer, so we stated the original version - a Bible version, of course:

...For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. - Matthew 12:34 (KJV)

These are words of Jesus Christ, who was openly skeptical of a "generation of vipers" He considered "evil." He used that tough language to describe Pharisees, who were considered the law-keepers of that day (verse 24). Jesus went on to warn....

But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. - Matthew 12:36-37

This goes not only for TV comedy stars, but poker players. Most U.S. poker rooms have "English only" policies for speaking during hands. OK - but is your English proper? Is it uplifting? Or is it crude and X-rated?

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. - James 3:9-10

Have you considered keeping score for a day or a week about how often you praise someone or something, as well as how often you curse people or things? (Include social media in that count, if you join in it.) Given what Jesus said, God actually might be doing that right now.

If your heart is filled with the Holy Spirit of God, we'd like to think the praise count will be much higher - especially in thanks to God. So to borrow from an old song, count your blessings. And your cursing, if you dare.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 197 final tables in 539 games (36.5%) - 40 cashes.

Favorites or Longshots?

Since we've been talking about numbers lately here, try this one: 2,598,960.

That's reportedly the total number of five-card combinations possible in a 52-card deck.  We learned this from a Business Insider article on poker odds.  It's an article that's pretty clunky to us, with lots of photos -- and we're not sure it's helpful for players, because it doesn't figure in two-card combinations you might be dealt.

But here's another number to ponder: the odds of a single card turning into a straight flush are 0.00154%.  That statistically is a longshot.

And to be honest, the odds of you reading this may be even higher.  You have to be alive.  You have to be at a computer, tablet or smartphone.  You have to have this blog called up, out of millions of websites.

We thank you for defying those odds and reading this entry.  But how about even bigger odds than that?  You're on a planet that isn't too close to the Sun, so you melt - or too far away, so you die from extreme cold.  In fact, you may be on a part of the planet that has a range of seasons and temperature changes.

The odds of that happening are so ridiculously high that we think there's only one sound conclusion for it:

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. - Genesis 1:1

The odds of everything evolving into the position you're in probably are even higher -- because there's no guiding hand to put everything in a proper place.

Let them praise the name of the Lord, for he commanded and they were created. He set them in place for ever and ever; he gave a decree than will never pass away. - Psalm 148:5-6

So far as we know, the Earth and other planets have kept the same orbit around the Sun for thousands of years.  Can any evolutionary theory really explain that?  Consider what "wisdom" poetically proclaims:

"I was there when he set the heavens in place, when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep, when he established the clouds above and fixed securely the fountains of the deep...." - Proverbs 8:27-28

This is Thanksgiving week in the U.S.  We hope you take time not only this week, but every week, to thank God for all he's provided you -- whether it be a big win at the poker table, a living body for playing poker, or a world where it's physically possible.  Make God your favorite, and show it in living a life that's pleasing to Him.

Poker Day 434: Clash of the Titans

The manager of Arrowhead Poker admits Sunday action starts slowly.  But there still can be plenty of action, even in a one-table tournament.  We faced some big hands today, but we're deferring to one where we simply watched:

BLINDS: 2,000/4,000

IN THE POCKET:  Q-10 offsuit

To be honest, we don't absolutely remember what we had in this hand.  But we know we still had 9,000 chips in the fifth round of blinds, after winning several pots.  And we folded pre-flop, so it must not have been very impressive.  We know Q-10 came up at some point late in the tournament, and it seemed too marginal to play with our chip stack so precarious.

ON THE FLOP: 6h-5h-4h

We murmur noisily at the sight of this - three suited cards in a row.  Seven players are still in the running, including the manager.  As we recall, he made a bet which chased all but one player (the only woman at the table) away.

ON THE TURN: 7h

The plot thickens further - with four suited cards in a row.  Now both players check.

ON THE RIVER: 8c

So there's a straight on the table, but that may be the least of our issues.  The manager now goes all-in.  The woman thinks about it for a moment or two.  Is that a big bluff?  She decides it is, and calls.

The manager turns over.... 8h!  It's not a bluff; he has a straight flush!

The woman shows.... 3h-Ah!  She had the Ace for an old-fashioned "nut flush," and the 3 gave her a straight flush of her own -- but not the winning one.  She's eliminated in seventh place, with a true bad beat.

It was our turn to go all-in a few hands later, as we faced the Big Blind with our last 10,000 chips.  We had K-J, but a man called with A-J.  Two Aces on the board settled the matter, and we were ousted in sixth place -- better, but not in the money.

MINISTRY MOMENT: We showed our "Lord's Supper" card protector to a man on our right -- the one with an artist's depiction of Jesus on the flip side.  "I don't really think he looks like that," we said of the depiction showing a long-haired Lord.

"I don't know," the man said.  "Maybe they weren't able to cut hair back then."

We didn't tell the man this, but that theory doesn't match the Bible at all.  Consider one of the most infamous haircuts in recorded history:

So he told her everything. "No razor has ever been used on my head," he said, "because I have been a Nazarite set apart to God since birth.  If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man." - Judges 16:17

These are the words of Samson - a man who had his hair in seven braids.  When Delilah put Samson to sleep and her friend shaved off those braids, indeed "his strength left him" (verse 19).  In fact....

Then she called, "Samson, the Philistines are upon you!"  He awoke from his sleep and thought, "I'll go out as before and shake myself free."  But he did not know that the Lord had left him. - Judges 16:20

Not only did Samson's strength go away -- the Lord went away.  It's curious to us that Samson bluffed (as in lied to) Delilah three times earlier in this chapter about the source of his strength.  When Samson finally told the truth, God responded by leaving him!

What sort of lessons should we learn from this?  In terms of poker, we think there's one obvious lesson -- don't lie in pressure situations.  Samson may not have realized he was in one, with his invincible strength at stake.

Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth. - Proverbs  16:13

We think this especially applies to the "King of Kings," Jesus Christ.  Would Samson have kept his strength, had he told the truth to Delilah right away?  We're left to guess -- but in poker, we think it's better to say nothing about your hand before showdown, instead of lying and breaking God's command against offering a "false witness" (Exodus 20:16, KJV).

NOTE: There's more to the conversation with that man at the table; we'll get to it in a future post.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 154 final tables in 434 games (35.5%) - 25 cashes.  Until more players show up, the final table count will keep piling up.

Chances Are....

For some reason, poker never came up  Nor did other "games of chance" you might play in a casino.  But we were drawn to a public radio series this past week on "Risk and Reason" - examining how statistical probability plays a factor in many things we do.

One basic example is the weather forecast.  How do you prepare for a "20-percent chance of rain"?  Your answer may say a lot about you.  Let's translate that to some examples at a Texas Hold 'em poker table:

* If you have a "gutshot" straight draw - such as 5-6-_-8-9 - your chances of making it with a 7 on the turn are 4 in 47, or 8.5%.  The chance of making the straight on the river is actually slightly better, because there's one fewer mystery card.  It becomes 4 in 46, or 8.7%.

* If you have four cards to a flush after the flop, the chance of completing it on the turn is 19.1% (9 remaining cards in a suit out of 47).  On the river, it's 19.6%.

(Yet a flush beats a straight at showdown.... but that's another topic completely.)

Good poker players constantly figure the odds and probability in their heads.  Yet the NPR series showed if you avoid casinos because you don't like "games of chance" -- sorry.  You live in a world where the figuring of probability and chance abound.

If you're looking for a sure thing, consider this: 100 percent of all human beings who lived in the 18th century died.  And unless something unusual happens, so will you.  So will we.

But believers in God and Jesus Christ keep a "long shot" in mind -- that something unusual can happen.  In fact, the Bible offers it as hope beyond this life.

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel  and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ shall rise first.  After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. - I Thessalonians 4:16-17

Did you notice the apostle Paul wrote those verses somewhat in the present tense?  "We who are still alive...."  From all we know, Paul eventually died -- but he had that "long shot" hope.

Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed - in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet.  For the trumpet shall sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. - I Corinthians 15:51-52

The chances of hitting a straight flush card on the river (if you have the other four) is only two percent.  Believers in Jesus should live each day in faith, keeping the "chance" in mind that God could prove His word true and send Jesus back to Earth at any time.  That will be hitting the sweetest "jackpot" of all.

October Senior Championship: Second-Hour Sensation

The timing of September's National League of Poker Senior Championship was lousy for us - on the evening of the Biblical Day of Atonement.  Perhaps out of guilt, NLOP changed the date of the October championship.  It was moved from Tuesday to Thursday night.  With baseball's World Series on TV in the background, we chased a title of our own....

:00 IN: We open the evening with 8-A.  The flop is 4-6-A.  We bet 90, the table folds, and we have a quick $210 win.

:14 IN: After a couple of showdown losses, we have J-K under the gun.  The flop is 3-10-Q.  The table checks.  The turn is A.  An opponent bets the minimum 40, and we raise to 140 with a "Broadway straight." He folds, and we win a $320 pot.

:16 IN: We have a lowly 3-5 in the Small Blind.  The flop is 5-2-Q.  The table checks.  The turn is 10.  We bet the minimum and get a caller.  The river is 3, giving us an unlikely two pair.  We bet 200, our opponent folds, and we win a $440 pot.

:27 IN: We have J-8 in the Small Blind, and call when someone doubles the blind to 120.  (Everyone started with 2,500 chips, allowing more room for play.)  The flop is 6-9-J.  We bet the minimum, and get callers.  The turn is 5.  We bet the minimum again, and get called.  The river is a third Jack for us!  An opponent's bet of 60 brings a raise to 260 from us.  They fold, we win $1,250.

We're actually below the starting level at the first break: 2,310.  Blame it on promising cards which haven't turned out too well.  We're in 439th place.

:35 IN: We return from the break with 10-2 of diamonds.  The flop is Kd-6d-Ax.  We call a minimum bet of 60.  The turn is 2h, and we call a minimum bet again.  The turn is 5c.  We're disappointed.  But the table checks - and our pair of 2's wins!  "Did not expect that" we write while claiming $570.

:46 IN: We have Q-J.  The flop is a dream-come-true A-10-K.  We bet the minimum 150 with a straight - but the table folds, so our win is a mere $675. Awwww....

:47 IN: The next hand brings J-J.  An opponent doubles the blind, and we easily accept.  The flop is 2-2-3.  We bet the minimum, and get called.  The turn is Q.  Now our opponent bets 250, and we call.  The river is 8 - and our foe bets 340.  Fearing the worst (a pair on the turn), we surrender and take a big loss.

Misses after that bring us to the one-hour break with only 1,120 chips.  We're in 492nd place - and with 508 players left, that puts us near the bottom.

1:24 IN: After a lot of cautious folding and one Big Blind claimed in a walk, we play 8-6 of hearts in the Small Blind.  The flop is 5-4-7 for a dream straight!  We bet 300, the table folds, and we win $1,450.

1:25 IN: The next hand brings 10-A of diamonds on the button.  The flop is A-4-A.  We bet 300 again, the table folds again, and we pick up $1,300.

1:26 IN: The next hand brings 9-9.  The flop is 8-8-2.  We bet 300 and get callers.  The turn is 8, giving us a full house.  We somewhat aggressively bet 300 again, and get called.  The river is 5.  We bet another 300, get called -- and find our opponent has A-K!  It's a big win of $3,100.

1:34 IN: The next Big Blind gives us 4s-6x.  The flop is 2-A-3 - all spades!  The table checks.  The turn is 8s, securing a flush.  We check again, as does the table.  The river is 5s!  Now we bet 400, get called -- and show our STRAIGHT FLUSH, which wins a true "Big Blind Special" $2,580!  (But no one congratulates us at all.)

1:35 IN: Next comes the Small Blind with 7-7.  The flop is J-8-6.  Everyone checks.  The turn is 7!  We bet the minimum 400, the table folds, and we wrap up a huge round of blinds by winning $2,450/

1:36 IN: But wait, there's more!  Now the dealer button brings an ugly-looking 2-7 of spades.  The flop is K-Q-Q.  Everyone checks.  The turn is 7.  We bet 400 and get called. The river is another 7!  That's a "running boat," but we check in caution -- yet still prevail to win $2,210.

What a third period - ending with us at $8,235, more than a sevenfold gain in 30 minutes!  Now we're 97th, with 297 players left.

1:46 IN: We have K-J under the gun.  The flop is J-9-T.  A player bets 600, which leads to an all-in raise by someone else in the neighborhood of 2,350.  We dare to call with top pair.  The turn is Q, giving us another straight!  We bet 600, and get called.  The river is 5.  We bet 2,000, one opponent folds - and the player who pushed missed it all with A-8.  We win $8,255, and knock out an opponent.

1:50 IN: We have A-7 of hearts in the Big Blind.  The flop is college Greek: A-K-A.  We take it slow and check.  The turn is 3.  We spring out with a bet of 1,500, which brings folds.  Our win is $3,675.

2:08 IN: After opponents make big bets which run us off potential pot, we have A-Q.  The flop is 10-A-J.  Someone goes all-in, and this time we dare to match it for 7,880.  But our top pair leads, when the pusher shows 10-9.  The board brings 6-8, and we prevail for $13,010!

After two hours of play, we have 10,110 chips.  We're up to 68th place, with 102 players remaining; only the top ten will win money.

2:27 IN: We play A-J.  The flop is 9-6-4.  Everyone checks.  The turn is 3.  Everyone checks.  The river is A, and we bet 1,600 with top pair.  The table folds, and we win $9,500.

2:39 IN: We have 4-4, and fold when an opponent goes all-in.  Too bad; we had a spade, which would have turned into a winning flush.

2:41 IN: Due to rising blinds and antes, it's our turn to go all-in.  We push with 4-4, and 3,835 remaining chips.  The flop is 6-5-6.  The turn is J.  The river is 9.  But our opponent has pocket Kings.

A long night ends with us in 57th place, out of 778 players.  That would have brought a payday in a real poker room, but NLOP doesn't even award us poker points at that level.  Yet we wind up with a slightly more satisfying night than a walk to Lil Kim's Cove might have brought.

Poker Night 342: Diamonds or Junk?

Our Thursday night routine resumed tonight -- as Lil Kim's Cove has moved poker night back to where it's been for years.  That meant a short walk, a two-dollar can of soda, and careful play against a table filled with much larger stacks of chips.  But can you be too careful?

BLINDS: 500/1,000

IN THE POCKET: J-8 of diamonds

We won the first pot of the night, but the gain was small.  A large-scale missed flop later in the first hour left us with only 4,500 chips after the break.  We say "only" because bigger stacks abound; one man openly is boasting about having 100,000 in large denominations.

So at our table of six, we now sit one behind the dealer.  We're dealt these medium-high suited cards.  We have enough chips for only three "laps around the race track," as we like to call it.  Would you risk 18 percent of your holdings on this, simply to see a flop?  We decide the odds of hitting a flush are too steep at this point to take this chance, especially with other players calling.  We fold.

ON THE FLOP: 9d-10d-Qd

WHAT?!?!!?!?!!?  It's all we can do to keep a "poker face" when we see this.

"Here come the diamonds," one man says.  Well, not the ones he might want.  We slowly pull back our folded cards and show them to the dealer, who also folded pre-flop.  We say nothing.  He says quietly what we knew -- we let go of a straight flush.  But the hand continues without us....

ON THE TURN: 9c

As we recall, one player offered 5,000 at this point.  "One more diamond!" another says with optimism as he calls.

ON THE RIVER: 2c

"Good no-diamond," that man now says.  After a moment of stare-down, both players check.  The caller has Q-J, and top his opponent's Queen with a better kicker.

"Look at what I folded!" we now announce -- and show our folded cards.

The table is stunned at the one that got away.  "I would have called with two diamonds," a couple of players say.

"But my stack is so small," we respond as we pick up our five chips totaling 4,500.  Those players insist they still would have entered the hand -- easy for them to say, with much larger stacks.

This hand came down to how much of a risk-taker (some would flat-out say gambler) you are.  We tend not to be.  And in this case, it cost us a 5,000-chip bonus for the straight flush -- and probably 9,000 more, because the players with Queens for two pair were likely to call if we went all-in.

We dreamed redemption would come two hands later, when we had A-8.  We limped in.  A man raised 3,000.  We added 500 more, to go all-in.  But the board didn't pair for us; instead 3-4-5 appeared, and a man with A-2 made a winning straight.  We left with 13th place -- and dreams about what might have been.

MINISTRY MOMENT: Earlier in the day, we visited a local hospital.  One of the regulars on our poker circuit checked in about a week ago due to chest pains.  Harry told us doctors found "other stuff" -- including occasional involuntary shaking, which still can't be explained.  We promised we'd pray for his recovery.

This short visit really is the least we could do for Harry.  But in making the trip, we recall words of Jesus about a future time of judgment....

Then the King will say to those on his right, "Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat.... I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me." - Matthew 25:34-36 (NASB)

In the Internet era, a "visit" also can be accomplished in an online way.  Harry's relatives set up a laptop computer by his bed -- and of course, he's using it in part to play online poker.  The relatives also created a Facebook account for him.  So if you'd like to send him a message, click on this link -- but be patient; Harry admits he's new at using computers.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 121 final tables in 342 nights (35.4%) - 19 cashes.

NATIONAL LEAGUE OF POKER TOTAL: Full tournaments - 261 point wins in 1,112 games (23.5%), 82 final tables, 10 cashes, 10 wins.  No-River Hold 'em - 8 point wins in 42 games (19.0%), 7 final tables, 1 cash/win.

For the third time in August, we won money at NLOP!  It was a second-place finish Tuesday night, in a tournament with 398 players.  There's an interesting story behind that game, which we'll share in an upcoming post.

POKER STARS.NET TOTAL: Pretend cash games - $82,986, up $1,388.

February Senior Championship: Thanks, But No Thanks

In January, we almost made the final table at the monthly National League of Poker Senior Championship.  Tuesday night brought another opportunity -- and things looked great for awhile....

:06 IN: After pocket 10's were overshadowed by an Ace on the flop and a Jack on the turn, we have 7-10 of spades.  A player doubles the blind, and we accept.  The flop is 6-A-A, the first two cards spades.  Everyone checks.  The turn is Qs, and we bet 150 with a flush.  One player calls.  The river is 8c.  We check to "defer," but our opponent checks as well.  He has A-Q!  Our flush wins $525.

:15 IN: We have K-K, limp in, then see two players go all-in for more than 800.  We hold our breath and call -- to find we face A-3 and 9-6!  The flop is 10-9-J.  The turn is 7.  The river is 3!  We dodge the stray rocket, eliminate one player and grab a $3,990 jackpot.

:19 IN: We have A-10 in the big blind -- and since no one raises, we go up 200 and attract a couple of callers.  The flop is 2-A-Q.  We make a power bet of 700, the table folds, and we win $880.

We miss a few flops after that, doing a little chasing -- but reach the half-hour break at a comfortable $2,705.  We sit in 58th place, with 342 players still competing.

:45 IN: We have Q-10.  The flop is 2-4-J, and offer a bluffer's bet of 200.  A couple of players call.  The turn is 3, and another player makes a big bet.  We fold -- and when the river is J, a man to our left shows J-J for quads.

:48 IN: We have 5-8 of diamonds in the big blind.  The flop is 7x-6d-Ax, giving us a two-way straight draw.  Everyone checks.  The turn is K.  An opponent bets 200, and we dare to call.  But the river is 3, and we bail out with a loss. (The winner has A-9.)

:49 IN: We have 7s-7c in the small blind  The flop is 6-8-5 -- all hearts!  An opponent bets about 200, and we dare to call.  The turn is 7h, and our three of a kind never looked more grim.  A player bets 200, and we fold.  Good thing - because amazingly, the man who hit quads four minutes before shows 4h, to make a straight flush!  Do any math experts know the odds against that?

:58 IN: We have J-8 of diamonds in the big blind.  The flop is 5d-Qx-Jx. An opponent goes all-in for 755.  What would you do with middle pair?  We take a chance and call -- and we're rewarded when the big bettor shows a mere 4-7!  The turn is 3, the river is 4, and we capture $2,470.

1:00 IN: The next hand brings us 6-6 in the small blind, and accept a doubling of the blind to 600.  The flop is 8-3-3.  An opponent bets 900, and we fold -- only to see 6 on the turn.  Our "triple six" would have beaten is winning "triple three."

We have $1,735 at the second break -- and that's when the trouble starts.  Our computer is noisy enough for us to hear a McAfee update approaching.  We'd moved our weekly McAfee scan time to Tuesday morning, to avoid any interruptions in the evening.  We paused the scan at the start of the game -- but we can't interrupt McAfee at update time.

The McAfee entry suffocates our browser, even before announcing its presence.  Google Chrome freezes, and NLOP tells us our log-in has been lost after eight minutes of lost playing time.  But the computer doesn't let us log in again for five more minutes -- and under NLOP rules, ten minutes of inactivity gets us eliminated!

McAfee didn't even announce on the screen its update was ready until 25 minutes after entry.  (The update itself took 64 minutes to complete, in part because we restarted the weekly scan along side it.)  So with all that waiting time, we had plenty to think about -- and we admittedly spent plenty of time stewing.  We had prayed before the tournament for God's blessing upon our actions and comments.  So why here?  Why now??

But the more we thought about it, the more we concluded we were to blame.  That pre-game prayer was in the car, before going inside a restaurant for dinner.  It was relatively short -- and we determined that was the problem.  Why?

Another angel, who had a golden censer, came and stood at the altar.  He was given much incense to offer, with the prayers of all the saints, on the golden altar before the throne. - Revelation 8:3

"Beat your prayers fine," we've heard ministers preach over the years.  They've claimed incense burns better when it's ground into tinier particles -- so therefore, God wants detailed prayers instead of broad generalizations.  Based on that reasoning: we did not specifically ask God to block McAfee interruptions; thus, God used that loophole to eliminate us from the tournament and teach us a lesson.

But here's the strange twist -- only as we wrote this post did we discover the claim about incense-burning may not be entirely accurate.  And we can think of a few short prayers in the Bible which wound up having a big impact.  Here's one; perhaps you can think of more....

At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: "O Lord, God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command.  Answer me, O Lord, answer me, so these people will know that you, O Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again."  Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench. - I Kings 18:36-37

Even at a slow pace, we read that prayer of Elijah aloud in 25 seconds.  Yet God heard it, answered it and gave the prophet victory in a dramatic showdown with Baal worshipers at Mount Carmel (people who pleaded conceivably for hours for Baal to show himself -- pleading in vain).

So did we beat ourselves up too much, for not "beating our prayers" enough?  We'll leave that open for your comments.  In the meantime, our finish at the poker tournament still wasn't that bad: 103rd out of 950 players.  But who knows what might have been?!?!


..

Poker Night 252: Fit for a Queen

"Get your tape recorder out," a woman ordered at our Lil Kim's Cove table tonight. She knows we bring one (though actually it's digital) to note the key hands of the tournament. We eventually folded the hand where she called for it -- but it was ready to grab for this, a few hands later....

BLINDS: 100/200

IN THE POCKET: 10 of spades - K of clubs

We've won a few pots in the first, to stand above 10,000 chips. As best we recall, no one raised before the flop and we simply called.

ON THE FLOP: 9-K-J, all spades

The least we have is top pair. The best potential hand we could have is a straight flush, with a "gut-shot." When the play checks to us, we bet 1,000. Several players have been commenting about our reputation for only playing quality cards, so they fold. One man to our immediate left calls.

ON THE TURN: Ac

This card is a bit concerning, because our opponent might have been waiting for an Ace. So we check -- and he checks, too.

ON THE RIVER: Qs

JACKPOT! We hit a straight flush -- yet we sense this man was on a straight or flush draw. If he hit it, we want him to go for it. So we check -- but he doesn't fall into the trap, and checks again.

"Five-thousand," we say turning over our straight flush for a bonus prize of that many chips. He only had a pair of Kings.

"He should have gone all-in," a woman comments.

"But I wanted him to go first," we explain -- as we're recording, of course. Looking back, he probably would have folded any big bet we made.

That pushed our total over 17,000 -- and we took another couple of pots to hit 23,000 at the one-hour break. But in the second hour, the man to our left got even in a big way. We held an Ace and A-6-8 came on the flop. We went all-in with 15,000 remaining, and again our reputation chased everyone away but that man. He dared to risk his 14,000 remaining chips on 7-9 and an open-ended straight draw -- and caught a 10 on the river!

The failed big move left us with a measly 1,000 -- but we escaped one all-in time with A-9. Then forced to go all-in with A-2 in the small blind, the flop was J-J-J. That man to our left struck again -- with pocket Aces, which gave him a better full house even when the turn was A. We finished 14th, knowing a big chance got away.

MINISTRY MOMENT: That man to our left also was interested in the "Lord's Supper" card protector we brought tonight.

"Do you believe in Jesus? Is He your Savior?" we asked. Yes, the man said -- so this time we probed a little deeper. "What's God been doing in your life?"

"He's supplied all my needs," our opponent said -- which actually is a promise from the New Testament.

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:19

"He doesn't supply all my wants," the man added. Oooo - he makes a very good point there. We'll expand on it in an upcoming post.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 97 final tables in 252 nights (38.5%) - 15 cashes.

NATIONAL LEAGUE OF POKER TOTAL: Full tournaments - 150 point wins in 676 games (22.2%), 51 final tables, six cashes.

We made the money in an afternoon tournament on Monday, for the second time this month! We finished fourth out of 608 players.

POKER STARS.NET TOTAL: Pretend cash games - $48,143, up $1,379.

Poker Night 247: Regrets for a Moment

(Our apologies for not posting complete details Thursday. Our blogging partner had the longest maintenance problem we've ever seen it have.)

First the good news - our long streak of missing the final table is over! We made it all the way Wednesday night at a very competitive place, Soho Bar and Grill. To get there, we had to dodge some potentially dangerous hands....

BLINDS: 50/100

IN THE POCKET: 4-8 offsuit

We're trying to play with discipline - and outside the blinds, who really would play this? Before anyone mentions Gus Hansen, we're folding. Several players get in, though.

ON THE FLOP: 5d-6c-7c

Ouch! Now we wish we'd been more loosy-goosy, as we would have had a straight on the flop. About three players make bets on it to stay in the hand.

ON THE TURN: 9c

A six-card straight still would have been a straight. Maybe others have an 8, because two players keep betting.

ON THE RIVER: 8h

Well, the deck has a 8 - so there's a straight on the table. One player makes a big "I dare you" bet, which we probably would have rejected It's called -- and a man to our left shows 8-10 of clubs! He made a straight flush on the turn -- and since he had an open-ended straight draw on the flop, it's doubtful any big bet we made would have turned him away.

The first hour did not go well for us, as we limped to the break at 2,250. But then things started changing. A man had to leave, so he shared his chips with the rest of the table. We grew to 4,000 from his generosity. Then we started getting good cards for all-in bets, including high suited-connector clubs which led to a big comeback. We jumped to 19,000, then jumped again to more than 53,000!

After a couple of attempts to play promising hands in the third hour missed the flop, we held on tightly with 30,000 chips to make our first final table since February. But the dream ended there, as a push with K-Q led to a miss and a woman with 8-9 made a full house. We finished in a three-way tie for fifth, and drove home with our best feeling from a poker night in a long time.

MINISTRY MOMENT: We pulled a fake key out of the car (a ploy to frustrate burglars) to use as a card protector. "This man has the key to success," the Tournament Director announced when he saw it.

"I actually had something else in mind," we answered -- which didn't surprise the Director, who's read this blog from time to time. "I brought it to remind me that Jesus holds the keys to death and the grave."

Where did we get that one? From the mouth of Jesus....

Don't be afraid! I am the first, the last and the Living One. I died, but now I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys to death and the world of the dead. - Revelation 1:18, CEV

"Do you believe in Jesus? Do you believe He was resurrected?" we asked a man to our immediate right. He said he did. We could have gone farther, and asked if HE expected to be resurrected.

I also saw all the dead people standing in front of the throne. Every one of them was there, no matter who they had once been. Several books were opened, and then the book of life was opened. The dead were judged by what those books said they had done. - Revelation 20:12, CEV

We don't buy the "all-in" claim from one Christian radio network that "Judgment Day" is only a few days away. But the Bible leaves no doubt a judgment is coming - for us as well as you. Are you ready to stand before the throne of Christ? And what will you say when that judgment comes on your life?

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 95 final tables in 247 nights (38.5%) - 15 cashes.

Poker Night 196: The Unhappy Hookah

For three years, it's been our Thursday night to walk across the street from our home to Lil Kim's Cove for poker. But that changed tonight -- as we visited another Columbus location offering an even larger poker prize.

Hookahmeup is a downtown "hookah" lounge (please note the spelling), which awards $150 to the tournament winner. In only its second week of action, enough players showed up tonight to fill five tables. Perhaps as a result, not enough quality cards were passed our way. And when they came.... well....

BLINDS: 100/200

IN THE POCKET: Q of clubs - J of spades (those suits might be reversed)

It's been a grim evening for us, beginning with a saddening phone call shortly before we left for the tournament. Very few hands have been worth our trouble. But these cards are high, so things could be different. We join several players in calling.

ON THE FLOP: Jh-10h-3d

Aha -- top pair! We're first in line to bet, so lead for 400. Several players fold, but a woman across from us does not.

ON THE TURN: 7h

Three hearts are now showing, but we decide to keep up the aggression. We bet 500, but the woman calls again.

ON THE RIVER: 8h

Uh-oh -- a fourth heart. Now we have to check. The woman does as we feared, and bets 500.

"I don't have a heart," we admit as we fold. Sure enough, the woman does. In fact, she shows the nine of hearts for a straight flush!

We split a pot later in the evening, but nothing else worked out for us. We wound up pushing with K-Q of hearts, only to lose to a 3-7 straight and finish in 22nd place.

MINISTRY MOMENT: "Have you served in the military?" a man to our left asked during the game.

"No," we answered -- then realized a moment had come. "This is who I'm a soldier for," we said as we handed over a "Jesus as your Savior" coin. It made the man smile -- but when we asked if he agreed with the message, his response was noncommittal. Maybe he'll think about it; we'll certainly pray about it.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 83 final tables in 196 nights (42.3%) - 15 cashes.

NATIONAL LEAGUE OF POKER TOTAL: Full tournaments - 77 point wins in 421 games (18.3%), 32 final tables, 2 cashes.

Wednesday night was a very late night for us - as we played in a tournament with 842 players, and made it to the final table! After more than three hours, we were eliminated in fifth place. That would have earned money in an afternoon game, but only the top four were paid in the late-night game.

POKER STARS.NET TOTAL: Pretend cash games - $16,299, up $40.

Poker Night 190: Strangely at Random

A few big timely hands helped us reach the final table tonight, for the fourth live tournament in a row. We ended tied for eighth (ninth in points), when K-Q lost to a woman with J-5 when she hit two pair on the flop. But we're deferring to a hand at Lil Kim's Cove which was borderline ridiculous....

BLINDS: 1,000/2,000

IN THE POCKET: We don't remember - we folded it!

Standard calling is happening, until a man in the small blind to our right asks a woman to our left how many chips she has left. She covers them up protectively, then shows 5,000. The man doesn't seem to grasp this, and raises 10,000. The woman goes into the tank.

"I'm not really sure I want to do this," she admits. Others at the table of six start urging her to call. (We say nothing.) Finally the woman slowly places her 5,000 on the table to call.

She shows A-9. The man confidently shows A-10. Then the dealer deals all five cards for the board face down, and spreads them.

"Show that one first," the man with A-10 says pointing to the middle card. What happens next is a scene from The Price is Right. The man points to cards at random to be turned over, in a ridiculous moment of drama.

As best we recall, the order of the cards came up: 6-4-5-2-3.

"It's a straight!" several of us say in amazement. But hold it.

"She has a straight flush!" Sure enough -- the 2-3-4-5 are spades, and the woman holds the Ace of spades. She wins the pot, and the confident man is left in mourning for several minutes.

MINISTRY MOMENT: Nothing really happened tonight, primarily because we sat around familiar people. We've shown them our Jesus coin and asked them about their Savior before -- which leads to a question we knew eventually would come. How do you keep the conversation going, when you've already used your main "tool" for witnessing?

The apostle Paul may have been in this predicament long ago, at Mars' Hill in Athens. But he looked around and found something to use....

For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you. -- Acts 17:23

Paul went on to present a short message about repentance, and a resurrected "man he has appointed" (verse 31). We've used various things at bars over the years, to bring up that man called Jesus -- from the coin protectors we take to music playing on a jukebox. We missed bringing up a fitting song tonight: "Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts. Maybe it will inspire you.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 81 final tables in 190 nights (42.6%) - 15 cashes.

NATIONAL LEAGUE OF POKER TOTAL: Five-player sit-n-goes - 6-11-6-3-2. Full tournaments - 69 point wins in 390 games (17.7%), 29 final tables, 1 cash.

POKER STARS.NET TOTAL: Full tournaments - 1 point win (unofficial) in 7 games (14.3%). Pretend cash games - $13,479, up $185.

Poker Night 118: Do You See What I See?

Do you dream of hitting a big hand at a poker tournament -- just one big hand? Then you won't believe what happened to us tonight at Lil Kim's Cove....

BLINDS: 500/1,000

IN THE POCKET: 10-8 of clubs

We played well getting to the one-hour break, and hold about 15,000 chips. With a smaller stack and blinds this high, this hand would be marginal. We call, sitting "on the button" (dealer). Several players join in.

ON THE FLOP: 9c-10-3 (don't really recall the last card)

The table checks to us. People have been betting big at this table all night, so we see top pair and bet 2,500. A player across from us calls; the rest fold.

ON THE TURN: 6 of clubs.

The man across from us checks. So do we -- and that puzzles one player who folded.

"You bet before, and now you're not going to bet again?!?!"

We see a straight draw, but we're not going to say that. As we hold the river card aloft, we answer: "Maybe I'm waiting. Waiting to see [dramatic pause] ....THIS!"

ON THE RIVER: 7 of clubs

The man across from us must sense weakness on our part. He bets 5,000 -- and of course we call.

"I've got a straight," we say turning the cards over. Oh wait. "And a flush."

"A straight flush," a man to our right points out. WOW -- we never even noticed that until he mentioned it! We not only win a big pot, but a 5,000-chip bonus for that huge hand.

Impressed by that? Believe it or not, another big hand came our way once the final table gathered -- as holding a 10, we hit QUADS on the river! No one bet into us that time, but the "tenor quartet" earned us another 5,000-chip bonus.

And yet, alas, we did NOT win the tournament tonight. We wound up in third place (one off the money -- losing a decisive race when our A-9 paired a 9 on the board, but another player paired a Jack to top us.

Yet all in all, it was a nice night to remember. We told ourselves as we walked to Lil Kim's Cove we were due to have a big night -- and indeed we did.

MINISTRY MOMENT: On a cold night in Columbus, we wore a black hoodie -- imitating pro poker star Phil Laak, except without the sunglasses. A man sat down next to us for the final table, wearing a white Sean John hoodie.

"I'm being an angel," the man joked as we compared clothes.

"If you're an angel, what does that make me?" we answered.

A few minutes later, we went back to that. "So are you the angel Gabriel? Or Michael?"

Our friend wasn't sure how to answer that -- but he recalled there are two angels with that name. We pointed out they're both actually archangels.

"Gabriel plays the horn," a woman across the table said, "while Michael plays the harp. Is that right?"

We didn't recall that detail, but said we'd "have to look that up." We invite you to do the same, and we'll compare notes in an upcoming post.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 48 final tables in 118 nights (40.7%) - 10 cashes. Good to be back, after six misses in a row.

YAHOO POKER TOTAL: $13,944 - unchanged (no play)

NATIONAL LEAGUE OF POKER TOTAL: Five-player sit-n-goes - 2-3-2-1-0. Full tournaments - 4 final tables in 49 games (8.2%), no cashes.

We had a third-place finish online this week as well -- in a 46-player Tuesday qualifying tournament for the monthly Senior Championship.

Big Hand, Big Word

When was the last time you played at a poker table with a straight flush? An online National League of Poker game we played Saturday night had TWO.

The first one brought a player a straight flush on the flop. A "500,000:1 shot," wrote an opponent who had pushed all-in and wound up burned. Now for the second one....

BLINDS: 40/80 (we think)

IN THE POCKET: 8-10 of clubs

We jumped above 3,000 chips (from a starting 1,000) early in the match when a big hand took two players out. Now we're down to about 1,300. But the blinds are relatively small, so we try a call. A few other players join in.

ON THE FLOP: Qc - 8d - Jc

We make bottom pair, but have hopes of much more: straight, flush, or even straight flush. A player ahead of us bets 410 -- about one-third of our stack. But we can't run from these possibilities, so we call.

ON THE TURN: 9c

Wow! The 47-to-one shot (in terms of probability) came in! But the player ahead of us seems unconcerned, and bets 640. This is a rare case where there's no way he can beat us, so with 835 left we push all-in. That opponent calls -- and we frankly don't remember what he had.

ON THE RIVER: 8d.

A straight flush -- and three of a kind besides! "Deja vu," we write.

That nice pot and others gave us our best result yet in the nightly "big game" with $200 in prizes. Out of 841 players who entered, we finished 34th. In terms of weekly championship points, the return was almost 4:1. But only the top four players earned money.

MINISTRY MOMENT: Later in the tournament, we folded a weak small blind hand to a player named "Nightwolf." We joked we were afraid of wolves -- and that led to this exchange:

nightwolf: im scared of me 2
Dealer: nightwolf wins Main Pot ($6300) with Three of a kind, tens
Me: I C Y very good
nightwolf: ty
Dealer: nightwolf wins Main Pot ($4575)
nightwolf: this is y
Me: This is a word.
nightwolf: word is bond
Dealer: DonJuan420 wins Main Pot ($7290)
Me: Bond? James Bond?
Me: A Word once became flesh and dwelt among us.

Nightwolf didn't respond to the last one, as we were moved to a different table. But do you know which "Word" we're talking about?

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." So begins the gospel of John. Our chat exchange referred to a verse shortly after that - John 1:14. Christians believe that Word is none other than....

"Christ Jesus, who.... existed in the form of God.... but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men." (Phil. 2:5-7, NASB) Read all the way to verse 9 to see why Jesus did that.

This "Word" truly is good -- although Jesus said at one point there's none good except the Father (Matt. 19:17). Are you "Word-Up" when it comes to Jesus? And even better, is your life focused upward?

Diamond Vision

(Today marks three years since our first major post about poker at our other blog, The Blog of Columbus, GA. It's a mix of fantasy and fun, but with a serious embedded message.)

"Welcome back to Christian Poker Showdown, presented by St. Pauli Girl. We're here at the biggest of all big events, the Universal Series of Poker! Former tournament champ and standup comic Gabe Kaplan is alongside - and Gabe, we're down to two big names in this game: Jesus and Satan."

"You know, Richard, I still can't believe Jesus Christ is here in person playing poker."

"Well, maybe Christians aren't playing Rook the way they used to."

"And these guys have been yakking it up at the table. At least Satan has. Let's listen in on him now."

"If you think you're really the Son of God, you'd give me a bit of a break here."

"Why should I do that? You've been scamming people out of their houses and fortunes all week."

"They're called bluffs, my friend. And did you see how I knocked out that one guy last Tuesday with three sixes? Classic!"

"We're playing basic Texas Hold 'Em here. And thanks to our table cameras, we can see what they've been dealt. Satan has -- a king and queen of spades! 'Big slick' for Satan!"

"That describes him pretty well, if you ask me, Richard. He's not going to sit still with that."

"Indeed, Satan raises 2,500 right away."

"Now, we don't know what Jesus has. He hasn't picked up his cards yet -- but he's going to call that big bet!"

"It's poker -- so this might be blind faith by Jesus."

"That's pretty clever, pal. But maybe Jesus is giving Satan that break he asked for. Christ is playing with half His hand tied behind his back - which kind of makes him like Rush Limbaugh."

"I don't dare touch that one. Instead, we'll look at the flop - and it's a jack of diamonds, five of hearts, king of clubs. A pair of kings for Satan!"

"All he needs is one more, and he can sing to Jesus, 'We three kings of Orient are.'"

"Are the kings on those cards really Oriental? Anyway, Jesus politely checks."

"I'd think the devil is going to bet here. He'll try a temptation of Christ in some way."

"It probably won't be the last one, either. Satan shoves in another 5,000."

"He's being the aggressor, that's for sure - but Jesus calls him again."

"And He STILL hasn't looked at those cards, yet He's not backing down at all. Here comes the turn card - a ten of diamonds. That doesn't help Satan much."

"Well, wait a second, blog-face. He can go top or bottom now for a straight. This could simply feed the beast -- if you know what I mean."

"I'll bet 10,000."

"Satan's being a daredevil again!"

"Except he already IS the devil, Gabe. And Jesus calls AGAIN, not looking at His cards!"

"W.W.J.D. What in the world is Jesus doing?"

"Here comes the last card out, the river -- a QUEEN of diamonds. Satan doesn't get his straight, but he has two high pair!"

"Yet Jesus is the Prince of Peace - checking again on the river. Satan must be ready to jump out of his chair."

"I'm all in."

"Satan is ready to risk it all on this hand! And you have to admit, his hand is pretty good."

"More kings and queens than at a Taylor County prom. Listen:"

"What do you think of THAT, Jesus?"

"Tell you what, Satan. I'll raise you -- and put salvation for all humanity on the table."

"Wohhhhh! Look at that, Gabe! Now this is REALLY going all in!"

"The stakes don't get much higher than this, Richard. I can't wait to see what Jesus has been holding. In fact, HE can't wait to see it, either."

"Nor can a lot of people now. He flips them over - an ACE-KING of DIAMONDS!?!?! Jesus has a straight flush!!"

"How does that old song go, Richard? Bring forth the royal diamonds?"

"I think that's diadem, Gabe. But jaws are on the floor all over this room!"

"The King of Kings had an ace, besides. Let's go down to our birthday gal, at tableside."

"Lyanne Melendez here with Satan the devil - and Satan, what happened on that last hand?!?!"

"(CENSORED), that's what happened! I mean, I had Jesus nailed. I nailed him once before, you know."

"Yeah, but after three days, He broke away from THAT one, too!"

"You didn't have to bring that up, at a time like this...."

"So after such a humiliating defeat, what does the devil do now?"

"I think I'll go back down to Georgia - see if there are any other fiddle players I can pick on."

"And as for Jesus, guys - He seems to have disappeared in the crowd."

"Thanks, Lyanne - and you know, Richard, Satan might like the change of scenery. As they say down in Georgia, the devil deals the cards."

"Gabe, after seeing such an epic moment of truth, what can we learn from this?"

"It's pretty clear to me. Always have a six-second tape delay, when Satan's playing poker."

"I mean beyond that. What can other Christian poker players take away from this match?"

"There are all sorts of lessons, probably. Don't get too big a head, around the river - especially around Someone who promises rivers of life. It also shows straight is the way that leads to success. What did you learn?"

"It proves something I heard a church pastor say the other day. When it comes to saving human beings -- God is making diamonds."

"He's probably making hearts in the process, too."

"Yeah -- but I'd still be careful around those clubs."

Diamonds are a....

At the poker table, they're not simply for girls. This hand unfolded at Yahoo poker Tuesday night:

BLINDS: $1/$2 ($20 limit cash game, pretend money)

IN THE POCKET: Ad-10d

Worth a go. Bidding stops at $4, with several calling.

ON THE FLOP: Kd-Qd-??. (We forget now, but it wasn't a diamond.)

One card from a dream hand. With straight and flush chances, of course we bet; a few players call.

ON THE TURN: Jd.

Yes, dreams come true -- it's a ROYAL FLUSH with diamonds!

With no reason to hold back, we bet every time our turn comes around. Two players at the table stay in, seemingly oblivious to the trouble they're in.

ON THE RIVER: 4d.

We keep betting and raising, of course. One opponent folds. The other finally smells trouble when we raise to $16, and stops short of raising to the $20 limit. That player made a flush on the river -- but obviously not the best one. We take a juicy $110 pot.

"Showoff" one early folder comments. In jest, we think. But we respond by admitting we wish we kept a camera by the computer for moments like that.

On a happier note....

A late-night Yahoo poker session finally pushed us about $9,000 for the first time there. We've gained more than $800 in November -- including a handsome $256 pot on this hand last week, which we meant to post earlier:

BLINDS: $1/$2 (pretend money)

IN THE POCKET: Kc-8c

Several players call; a few are in a mood to raise, so we join in.

ON THE FLOP: Qc-10c-9c

Can you say "flop-flusher" five times fast? In fact, we're one card from a STRAIGHT flush! (And we hit one of those on Yahoo earlier this week, for a much smaller pot.)

Of course we're betting this. A couple of players stick around.

ON THE TURN: Jd.

Not a straight flush, but close -- as we now have a straight and a flush. (Flushes beat straights, if you don't know.)

We keep betting, and one player insists on betting all the way to the $20 limit. Hmmmm -- only one card would beat us....

ON THE RIVER: 6h.

A meaningless card for this hand? Well, not really. It means no full house is possible, for beating me.

I keep betting, and the player to my right pushes me to the $20 pot limit. Does he have that one card, the Ace of clubs? Drum roll........

Nope -- he has pocket 10's. In his case, 3 x 10 = a negative number.

By the way, we're inviting people at our Yahoo tables to visit this blog now. If you're one of them, welcome. Please visit often.

One in a million

Well, we're not sure those are the exact odds of it happening. But it happened to us late Saturday night, playing poker online at Yahoo!

BLINDS: $1/$2 (pretend money)

IN THE HOLE: A-2 of diamonds

It's a limit hold 'em game, with the maximum pre-flop bet of $12. Several players call before then.

ON THE FLOP: 5 of diamonds (plus two other cards I forget now; I think one was an ace)

I keep betting, as do a couple of other players -- but the bets are modest.

ON THE TURN: 3 of diamonds

Modest betting continues, with my pair of Aces -- but could this really happen?

ON THE RIVER: 4 of diamonds

It DID!!!!! It DID happen!!!!

I'm in the lead position, and humbly check. A woman around the table bets 4 (the standard at Yahoo tables). I raise to 8. She calls, and a straight flush wins me a $90 pot.

This has happened to me at Yahoo poker once before. But believe it or not, I never saw it in June 2007 and called a $4 bet. Call it the learning curve.

I don't rub in my win, though. "With humility comes wisdom." (Prv. 11:2)