Friday Flop Funny

"I'm glad the S in H.O.R.S.E. doesn't stand for strip."

- Our words during the recent seven-game mix tournament at Hollywood Casino Indiana.

Poker Day 571: H.O.R.S.E. Play

"All I need is your card and $200."

That was easy for the cashier to say. The $200 buy-in Sunday at Hollywood Casino Indiana was the biggest buy-in we've ever made. But it was our least inexpensive and most convenient way of being part of the Heartland Poker Tour, which was making its first-ever stop in Lawrenceburg.

The buy-in put us in an unusual tournament - a "seven-game mix." Five kinds of poker spell out the word "H.O.R.S.E.," then Pot Limit Omaha (with no high/low) and No Limit Hold' Em are thrown in. The version changed after every eight hands, in a rotation.

About half of the table had played H.O.R.S.E. before. We never had, and finding places to practice online proved impossible. So we took our chances, learning as we played. It was admittedly confusing and a bit dangerous, but we had plenty of company.

GAME: Omaha 8 (high/low)

BLINDS: 50/100

IN THE POCKET: Kc-Qs-10s-5h (fourth card not precise)

We've already won our first hand, by making a full house of Kings and 10's (never shown) in Seven-Card Stud. Now we have several high cards - but by rule, we can only use two of them (and we must use two of them) to make a winning hand. We call, and no one raises. About four players at the table of six get in.

ON THE FLOP: Jh-7d-Ks (Suits on first two cards not precise)

We have top pair. But if everyone has four cards, the chances of someone making two pair go up sharply. We bet 200 to gauge interest, and two players (as we remember it) call.

ON THE TURN: As

This is a hopeful sign, because we now have a draw for the best flush. We check, and a man bets 200. We call, and we're heads-up.

ON THE RIVER: 7s

Victory!? Well, maybe not. We could be burned by a sneaky full house. We bet a cautious 500. Our opponent raises to 1,000, and we call. Our old line for this moment is revived.

"You can call me Planters, 'cause I've got the nuts."

The nut flush wins, because our opponent could do no better than Jacks and 7's! It's a healthy pot for us.

But the first 90-minute segment had more down moments than up. Mandatory antes for some games became a drain, and feeler bets failed. We were concerned with our 6,500 chips (from a starting 12,000) at the break. The drain continued in Segment 2 - and we finally were first to make an all-in bet, with 575 to go. But we had A-K, made two pair on the river in Seven-Stud and jumped back to 9,000!

A "low win" or two in Stud and Omaha proved handy after that, and we stood at 9,050 at the second break. But then we missed a few hands of Razz while the casino "Eatery" forgot about our simple order of a cold chicken sandwich while focusing on bringing out pizza slices. Yet we won a couple more pots, to hit a high of 13,800.

A critical moment came in Segment 3 when we had pocket Aces in Seven-Stud, and a man down the table made three Jacks. That loss left us with only 1,200 chips, entering an Omaha hand with blinds at 600/1,200. We were dealt 5-6-7-8, but our hope of a low hand failed when another man had a 3 for something lower.

Our final result: about 40th place in a field of 58. At least we can say we tried it - but we plan to find a place to practice those unusual games, before daring to enter that kind of tournament again.

MINISTRY MOMENT: Breaking news occurred as the tournament began, as the U.S. Attorney General provided Congress with a summary of "The Mueller Report" on President Trump and possible connections with Russia.

"There's Someone who knows everything that happened there," we said as the table assembled. "And when Jesus comes back, He's going to judge the world."

A player across the table from us seemed shocked that we brought up that name. He said nothing, but the dealer discussed it further with us.

"What do you think of Jesus?" we asked him.

After a moment of thought, the dealer answered, "I believe in Him."

"Is He your Savior?"

Another thought moment for the dealer. "Yes, He is."

"I can't count on any politician to save me," we continued. "Only Jesus can do that."

The dealer quickly agreed on that point. We hope you can, too. If you're counting on political leaders to save this world from destruction, your faith is in the wrong place. And if you think things are bad now....

Immediately after the darkness of those days "the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, the stars will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken." - Matthew 24:29

These are words of Jesus Christ, after disciples asked Him for a sign of "the end of the age" (verse 3). Things will become so bad that....

If those days had not been cut short, no one would survive, but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened. - Matthew 24:22

That's "the elect" - not necessarily the "elected" office-holders. A time of what some Bible translations call "great tribulation" will lead to the Lord's dramatic intervention:

At that time men will see the Son of Man coming in clouds with great power and glory. And he will send his angels and gather his elect from the four winds, from the ends of the earth to the ends of the heavens. - Mark 13:26-27

Jesus is coming to the rescue, for his "elect!" But what do we mean by that word? We'll explain in a future post.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 217 final tables in 571 games (38.0%) - 46 cashes.

Language Foul?

It wouldn't be World Series of Poker season without a little controversy - right?  And there's one posted today, from a H.O.R.S.E. tournament.

It involves two players fluent in Russian, who spoke Russian to each other during a hand.  They were both out of the hand at the time.  Many poker rooms in the U.S. have "English-only" rules for tables.  But in this case, a WSOP official ruled the players could speak in Russian "on the side" because they were out of the hand.

The video report we saw didn't reveal what the players discussed in Russian.  It could have been President Vladimir Putin's pending divorce.  But it could have been poker strategy -- so we can understand why others at the table would be annoyed by what they did.

Perhaps the WSOP might consider applying some guidance from the Bible:

If anyone speaks in a tongue, two - or at the most three - should speak, one at a time, and someone must interpret. - I Corinthians 14:27

Why would the apostle Paul bring up this issue?  Because some early churches had people who spoke in different languages.  Even modern churches have this; you may know of congregations which have separate weekend services in English, Spanish, Korean or some other dialect.

Paul's instruction is that when everyone gathers together, the emphasis should be on unity....

What then shall we say, brothers?  When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or interpretation.  All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church. - I Corinthians 14:26

By having one "official language" during a service, everyone can understand what's said.  That way, everyone can profit from it.  We think the same principle can apply at a poker table.  There's no question about what others are doing or discussing if everyone speaks the same language - and if players need assistance in speaking English, an interpreter can help.

We're interested in your comments about this issue.  In the meantime, feliz jugando.  (Spanish for "happy playing.")

HORSE play

Don't put me up against Scotty Nguyen in a game of HORSE.

Not basketball -- the World Series of Poker version.

He won $2 million today. I'd need to take my 1960's-era paperback copy of Hoyle's Rules of Games, and follow it for at least a day. Beyond Texas Hold 'em, it's all a suburb of Omaha.