Poker Night 321: Heavy Artillery

"If anyone ever hits you in the face about God, send him to me."  That's what a man across the table said to us, before play began tonight at Lil Kim's Cove.  We tried to tell him Christianity isn't supposed to work that way.  But once the poker tournament is on, sometimes you do see a need to fight fire with fire:

BLINDS: 25/50

IN THE POCKET: A-9 offsuit

Our table is betting big and early -- which we take as a sign a critical basketball game is on TV.  Two players already have pushed themselves over the cliff and out to the rail.  But we've been biding our time, waiting for a good hand.  When a player raises to 300, we decide this could be it.  We call, and about five players get in.

ON THE FLOP: 4-7-9

An ugly flop to some, but good-looking to us -- top pair with a top kicker.  A man across from us who likes to bet big tosses in 1,000.  We see no reason to object.  We call; everyone else bails out.

ON THE TURN: 9

Three of a kind makes us feel downright dangerous - especially because we don't think our opponent has anything more than a high pocket pair.  He bets 1,500.  We shake our head no, and double to 3,000.

"How much do you have?" the man asks us.  We've dealt with him at local tournaments before, so this is no surprise.  His tendency is to make huge bets, to force big decisions from opponents.  Now he's answered our raise by going all-in.

"I have 2,650," we say after a count.  We call, and see no reason to turn this into a Western movie drama.  "Three 9's with an Ace."

Our opponent looks stunned for a moment, then slowly shows what he has: 9 -- with an Ace.  We have matching hands!  And with no flush threat for either of us, the river card doesn't matter.  A split of the pot means a gain of about 600 for us -- but oh, what might have been.

The big betting continued throughout the first hour, and we were right to lay low -- even folding A-Q pre-flop when several players bet 5,000.  (It would have lost.)  We finally emerged with suited connectors, but lost a lot of chips when we missed a flush draw.  Near the one-hour mark we tried A-8, then was forced all-in after seeing a flop of Q-8-2.  But true to the mood of the table, an opponent topped us -- with three 2's!  Bad timing left us eliminated in 24th place.

MINISTRY MOMENT: Our game was overshadowed by unquestionably the most robust religious discussion we've ever had in a poker room.  And it all started when a woman to our right asked about the little bottle of Liquid Paper we used as a card protector.

"I brought this to remind me," we explained while shuffling the cards to deal, "Jesus can wash my sins whiter than snow [Isaiah 1:18].  Do you believe in Jesus?"

"Actually, I don't believe," the woman answered.  "Show me the proof.  There's no proof He lived."

"There's all sorts of proof."  This comment didn't come from us -- but from the man across the table who had offered to come to our defense in a fight.  (Thankfully, no punches were thrown during the discussion.)  Yet his support for his claim sounded curious to us.  "There are pieces of the ark...."

There are?!  We thought Noah's ark and the "ark of the covenant" were missing pieces of Biblical history -- despite occasional expeditions to Turkey and that Indiana Jones movie.

Then a woman sitting to our left spoke up.  "I'm not into God at all, but I believe."

That's indeed a nice start.  But consider these words from the New Testament:

You believe that there is one God.  Good!  Even the demons believe that -- and shudder. - James 2:19

The Bible indicates demons are "fallen angels," who sided with Satan long ago in a heavenly insurrection:

The great dragon was hurled down -- that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray.  He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. - Revelation 12:9

God wants a belief that goes beyond "fair-weather friendship," or waiting for the opportune moment to do something like pot-stealing.  Jesus summarized it in terms of two great commandments....

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.  The second is this: "Love your neighbor as yourself."  There is no commandment greater than these. - Mark 12:30-31

Now that's what "going all-in" really means, from a heavenly perspective.  But none of that would impress the skeptic to our right.

"I wake myself up every morning," she maintained.  "When I die, I know death is all there'll be."

How would you respond to this firm non-believer?  We'll get back to this lively chat in a future post.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 113 final tables in 321 nights (35.2%) - 17 cashes.

We've been doing well at tournaments early in the week (five final tables in the last seven), but haven't reached the final table at Lil Kim's since 1 March.

NATIONAL LEAGUE OF POKER TOTAL: Full tournaments - 232 point wins in 980 games (23.7%), 74 final tables, 7 cashes plus 1 other win. No-River Hold 'em - 5 point wins in 32 games (15.6%), 4 final tables, 1 win.

We had a sixth-place finish out of 61 players in a monthly qualifier Tuesday.  But sadly, two other point wins came in games where the NLOP browser froze (in one case three times) - which seems to be a common problem for other players.

POKER STARS.NET TOTAL: Pretend cash games - $79,421, up $561.