Poker Night 310: K-9 Corpse

We now have two choices for live poker on Monday nights.  For now, we're opting for The Red Barn in Phenix City over The Suite in Columbus.  The Suite is a more attractive place, but The Red Barn is a little closer, the soft drinks are less expensive ($1.50 vs. $2.25) and our income is limited at the moment.

The Red Barn also has one quirky "house rule," which can turn a game upside-down.  It came into play for us tonight....

BLINDS: 500/1000

IN THE POCKET: K-9

We have been dealt "The Rodney," named after the Tournament Director.  If you win a pot with this hand, you earn a 5,000-chip bonus -- and if the cards are suited, the bonus doubles to 10,000.  Our K-9 is not, but it certainly has our attention at a semifinal table of six.  We start with 11,500 chips and are ready to call.  Then another player raises to 3,000, and we still join in.

ON THE FLOP: K-8-7

Top pair increases our hopes for a big hand.  We're in lead position, but decide to check and let the raiser to our left do the work.  That man bets 2,000; a woman across the table raises to 5,000.  We call, making a huge commitment to this pot.

ON THE TURN: 4 (as best we recall)

We have 3,500 left, and are ready to push if need be.  But we check again -- and are a bit relieved when the two other players in the hand check.

ON THE RIVER: 7

This gives us two pair, and we decide it's time to be forceful.  "I'm all-in," we announce -- dropping down our last 3,500, in the hope our opponents will surrender and fold.  Trouble is, they both have bigger chip stacks.

The man to our left didn't want to see that move.  "I've got to pay to see it," he decides.  He calls.  The woman across from us agrees, and calls as well.

"I have The Rodney," we say as we turn over our cards.  We feel confident, as the man to our left shows a 10 as if he missed a draw.

"King-Queen."  Noooooo!  The woman has a bigger kicker, wins the pot and eliminates us.  No wonder she raised on the flop (a detail we'd forgotten).

We leave the table in 12th place -- then walk over to Rodney the Tournament Director.  We explain what happened, and pretend to cry on his shoulder.

"I'm thinking about adding a 'bad beat' prize for The Rodney," he admits.  But we didn't have that tonight.  And come to think of it, we should have suggested making K-9 "wild" to trump everything else.

MINISTRY MOMENT: "Today is National Honesty Day," we said to both tables where we played tonight.  We're not being dishonest and making that up.  We spotted it as a trending topic on Twitter during the day; it's the idea of an author in Maryland.

"It's a day all poker players can appreciate," we said both in person and online.  That made a couple of people smile, seeing the irony in our comment.  After all, bluffing is part of the game in poker -- and even a little misleading "trash talk" at times.  But in life....

Do not use dishonest standards when measuring length, weight or quantity.  Use honest scales and honest weights, an honest ephah and an honest hin.  I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt. - Leviticus 19:35-36

The margin of our Bible indicates the "ephah" and "hin" were dry and liquid measures in Old Testament times.  In modern terms, wouldn't you be upset if a gallon jug of milk only contained three-fourths of a gallon?  God would be upset as well -- and that also applies to the things we say.

A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies.... Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. - Proverbs 12:17, 19

You might be tempted to challenge the last part of that Scripture.  History is filled with famous false statements -- such as U.S. President Richard Nixon declaring, "I am not a crook," or President Bill Clinton emphasizing, "I did not sexual relations with that woman."

We like the way the Moffatt paraphrase puts verse 19: "Truth told endures; a lie lasts only for a little while."  And think of it another way: Jesus Christ who called Himself "the truth" (John 14:6) is ruling alongside God the Father eternally, while Revelation 22:15 warns someone who "loves and practices falsehood" eventually will be outside God's Kingdom.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 109 final tables in 310 games (35.2%) - 17 cashes.

Quest for Gold

Former World Series of Poker Main Event champion Jamie Gold now has his own free poker website.  But today Gold did something unusual -- making himself a "bounty" in tournaments both live and online.

The in-person bounty was at a World Poker Tour event in Jacksonville, Florida.  The online version was a "Gold N Bounty" big-prizes tournament tonight at National League of Poker (and perhaps at other websites; Gold's site and NLOP are part of the same entertainment network).  We stayed home and joined about 2,400 other players in searching for money, wherever it was hiding....

:02 IN: We have 6-4 in the Big Blind.  The flop is Q-9-J.  The table checks.  The turn is 2.  Everyone checks.  The river is 3 -- and since everyone started with a "deep stack" of 2,500 chips, we offer a flat-out bluff of 100. It works!  The table folds, and we win $190.

:07 IN: We have 10-J.  The flop is 2-3-8.  The table is playing tight, and everyone checks.  The turn is 4.  Everyone checks again.  The river is 7.  We offer a bluff bet again of 125 -- and it works again!  Massive folding wins us $210.

:10 IN: We have 10-K.  The flop is 5-9-5.  The tight table checks.  The turn is 6.  Everyone checks again.  The river is 3.  We throw out 120 -- and we're now three-for-three in bluffs!  The table folds; we gain $320.

:11 IN: The next hand brings J-J -- and this time we don't wait, raising 200 pre-flop.  A few people call.  The flop is 5-A-6.  We check, as does everyone else.  The turn is J, and we bet 300.  The table runs off; we gain $1,120 -- and we win four of the first eight pots, while someone named "Horseco" claims the other four.

:14 IN: We have 6-A.  The flop is 8-5-9, all diamonds (we don't have one).  The table checks.  The turn is Jh.  More checking.  The river is 8c.  We offer a semi-bluff 100 (since we do have Ace high) -- and our run ends when a player calls with a winning 9-7.

:18 IN: We have 9-8 in the Big Blind.  The flop is 10-9-7.  We bet the minimum 60 with middle pair, and get callers.  The turn is K.  We offer 60 again, and get doubled by another player.  We call it.  The river is J to give us a straight.  We bet 250, an opponent doubles to 500, we call with a third player -- and we all have 8's!  It's a three-way pot split; we win $900.

Nothing works for us after that until the half-hour break.  We arrive with $1,980 - tied for 947th place, with 1,229 players to go.

:47 IN: We have 10-Q of diamonds.  The flop is K-K-3, with the 3 a diamond.  The table checks.  The turn is As, leaving us hope of a straight.  An opponent bets 200, and we dare to call.  The river is 8d.  We figure we're sunk, but the opponent merely checks.  We check with resignation -- but he has a lowly 2-7!  It's a surprise win of $1,200.

A miss with 7-A follows, along with some low-quality cards.  We survive to the one-hour break with 1,455 chips.  With 702 players remaining, we're well down the list at #625.

1:08 IN: We return from the break with K-10 offsuit.  We call, knowing it's about time to make a move.

ON THE FLOP: 5-8-K

This could be the moment -- and an opponent bets 560 to provoke a response.  We have 1,130 left, and go all-in.  The big bettor calls -- but he shows K-7, so we're in the lead!

ON THE TURN: 7

"Noooooooooooo" we say aloud -- and write moments later.  Our foe hit a second pair!

ON THE RIVER: 9

He won the race.  We're shown the door in 651st place, out of 2,404 entries.  If someone claimed the bouty on Jamie Gold along the way, we couldn't find it in the long list of standings.  He never even stopped by our table to say hello.

God and Cybergod II

Let's continue our post about an online poker conversation which one player didn't seemingly want to have.  First we reminded "Cybergodsig" he wasn't god.  Now let's pick up the chat in progress....


Pokerpiz eliminated from the tournament (he/she has lost all his/her chips)
Me: very good
Cybergodsig: *** talker
THEWIZ: TY
Me: So this game
Me: should have no chat?
Cybergodsig: awwww
Cybergodsig: feelings hurt

How interesting -- he says our feelings are hurt, when he is the one who made a fuss about talking at the table in the first place.  That's the sort of blame-shifting a real God does not accept.  And God saw it as early as the garden of Eden:

And he said, "Who told you that you were naked?  Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?"  The man said, "The woman you put here with me -- she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it." - Genesis 3:11-12

We've heard several ministers point out recently Adam not only blamed Eve for his disobedience -- he even blamed God, for putting Eve with him at all.  God wound up kicking Adam out of the garden, and cursing the tempting serpent as well (verses 14-15, 23-24).

So were our feelings hurt?  No....


Me: No asking
supertjc won Main pot 65,216 with One pair, aces
Me: Have you suggested
Me: that to NLOP?

Every online poker game we've ever played has some kind of "chat" function.  At least it gives play-by-play of the game -- who wins pots and who's been eliminated from the table.  We've noticed not many players use it, but few make a big issue about our comments.

If Cybergodsig had been polite in his request to tone down the chat (or at least given a reason why he wanted it), we probably would have done so.  We're reminded of this Biblical guidance:

There is a time for everything.... a time to be silent and a time to speak. - Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7

But instead of answering our question, this was the response which pretty much ended the discussion:

Cybergodsig: thin skin dies

Cybergodsig: same in life

Well, let's be more accurate.  Sooner or later, all skin dies.  We're all facing an appointment with death someday (Hebrews 9:27).  The big question is: what will happen to you after that?

For I know that my Redeemer lives, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth.  After I shall awake, though this body be destroyed, yet out of my flesh shall I see God. - Job 19:25-26 (KJV text and margin)

Job's skin had "painful sores" all over it, from Satan's persecution (Job 2:7) -- yet he maintained hope of seeing a "Redeemer" in a resurrection!  How much did he understand Jesus Christ?  The book of Job doesn't offer a direct answer.  But we encourage you to understand Jesus better, and have hope the true God will redeem you from death to eternal life.

Poker Night 309: Better Read Than Dead

You may have heard the line about "guys who can't commit."  In poker, commitment sometimes gets rewarded handsomely -- and sometimes blows up in your face.  Look at what happened tonight at Lil Kim's Cove....

BLINDS: 50/100

IN THE POCKET: J-10 offsuit

We started the evening with 7,000 chips, and have slowly dwindled from there.  We actually had J-10 on the last hand, and we made top pair on the flop.  But we lost to a man who stuck around with 2-3, and made two pair on the river.  Hopefully that won't happen again, so we're ready to call with 4,400 chips left.  But a man to our right with a huge stack raises to 400.  With insistence, we call -- and four players from a table of six are in.

ON THE FLOP: J-9-7

Aha - top pair again!  The man who raised before makes a continuation bet (we suspect) of 1,000, and we're perfectly happy to tag along.  In fact, everyone calls.

ON THE TURN: K

Ugh.  We didn't really want to see that.  And to make things worse, the bettor now tosses out 2,000.  We have 3,000 left, so we think about this a moment.  Has be been betting all along because he has something - or because he has nothing?

"I'll call," we decide somewhat reluctantly.  We conclude the man is making a "go away" bluff bet to claim the pot.  The other two players don't seem to agree; they fold.

ON THE RIVER: 3

Our opponent looks at our "stack" -- in quotes, because we have one chip worth 1,000 left.  That's it.  He tosses a black chip out to match it.

"I've committed this far," we say, "so I'll call.  I'm all in.  I've got a pair of Jacks."

Too bad.  Our opponent shows A-K.

Our reasoning was right when it came to the flop, as we were leading then.  But he caught a winning card on the turn, which changed everything.  Our reading skills (assuming we have any) went bad, and we were out first at our table.

MINISTRY MOMENT: That man with a big stack also fell short in the prior hand, losing to the 2's and 3's.  "The river giveth, and the river taketh away," he said.

Hey - that sounds familiar.  "Blessed be the name of the Lord," we say in response.  We don't think he expected that.  So we decided to follow up with it a bit.  "Who said that quote?"

"The Bible," a woman said with a who-cares tone to her voice.

"Yes - but who in the Bible?"

"Jesus," a man guessed.  No....

"John?" the woman guessed.

"You're close, in a way," we said.  Then we offered the answer.  "It was Job." (Job 1:21)

A man at one end of the table recognized that name.  "Yeah, because God took everything from him -- then gave it back to him later."

Welllll.... is it really fair to say God took everything from Job?  Let's check the record:

"Does Job fear God for nothing?" Satan replied.... "But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face."  The Lord said to Satan, "Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger." - Job 1:9, 11-12

Notice God did not instruct Satan to take everything away from Job!  The statement in verse 12 is open-ended.  Satan might say God granted permission to do it, but Satan didn't have to do it.  The devil made that choice - a mean-spirited and deadly choice, as the rest of Job 1 shows.

We blogged about this incident last week, and said we wouldn't give away the ending.  But since that other player mentioned it....

After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.... The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first. - Job 42:10, 12

So yes, God brought Job back to prosperity.  But did you notice what happened first?  It came after Job prayed for others - in this case, three friends who kept giving him lousy advice about his predicament.  Is there someone in your life who needs your prayers?  Maybe even someone who's made your life a little miserable?

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.  He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. - Matthew 5:44-45

We have to confess - we don't follow this instruction of Jesus anywhere close to enough.  We don't pray for the poker players who make fun of our efforts.  We plan to do that more.  Who knows what blessings might come from it - for everyone?

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 109 final tables in 309 nights (35.3%) - 17 cashes.

NATIONAL LEAGUE OF POKER TOTAL: Full tournaments - 216 point wins in 910 games (22.6%), 71 final tables, 7 cashes plus one non-cash win. No-River Hold 'em - 5 point wins in 20 games (25%), 4 final tables, 1 cash.

POKER STARS.NET TOTAL: Pretend cash games - CORRECTED: $71,007, down $6,060.  Suffice to say: not a good week all around.

God and Cybergod

When we play poker, we want to win -- but we also want to have some fun, and perhaps start a conversation which leads to ministry.  In one online game the other day, that latter part clearly rubbed another player the wrong way.


Cybergodsig won Main pot 24,749 with Full house, nines full of tens
Me: very good
Me: But you're not God

Calling out a false "god" may seem harsh.  But it's what followers of the true God have done for thousands of years -- even in New Testament times.

And you see and hear how this fellow Paul has convinced and led astray large numbers of people here in Ephesus and in practically the whole province of Asia.  He says that man-made gods are no gods at all. - Acts 19:26

These were the words of a man who created silver shrines for another god (verse 24).  His business was at risk from Paul's preaching - and the man we played responded as if we'd threatened him the same way.

Cybergodsig: *** off

Me: Not my God, at least....

Really now -- would a true God answer a critic by using censored language?

And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay, purified seven times. - Psalm 12:6

In contrast, our opponent moved toward pure trash talk:

Cybergodsig: you going bye bye

Cybergodsig: chump

"Chump?"  Both of us were sitting at a semifinal online table - out of a tournament with 577 players.  But then came a fun-sounding showdown between two other players....


Pokerpiz won Main pot 6,928 with Two pair, kings and sixes
THEWIZ is returned 6,152 extra chips from Side pot 1
Me: Wiz v. Piz
THEWIZ won Main pot 22,856 with Full house, tens full of sixes
Cybergodsig: shut it
Pokerpiz eliminated from the tournament (he/she has lost all his/her chips)
Me: very good
Cybergodsig: *** talker
THEWIZ: TY

What do you think of this?  Is it wrong or impolite to talk at a poker table at all -- even online?  Your comments are welcome; this topic will continue in a future post.

April Senior Championship: Flush With Excitement

After missing the March event because of a road trip, we returned to the National League of Poker monthly Senior Championship tonight.  Unlike February, this time the McAfee update was announced before the tournament began.  That meant we could delay it.  Maybe that would be a good sign....

:02 IN: We have 3-J and fold it - only to see a flop of J-2-3.  (The hand is settled without a showdown.)

:13 IN: We have 3-K, both spades.  The flop is Jx-Qs-3x.  But someone bets 240 -- too steep for us to play bottom pair.  (There's no showdown again.)

:18 IN: We have A-K offsuit.  The flop is 8-10-5.  Everyone checks.  The turn is 7.  Everyone checks again.  The turn is J -- and when our turn comes, we bet 120 with two high cards even though "four to a straight" is showing.  Our 80-percent bluff works!  The table folds, and we win $450.

A failed round in the blinds follows, and we reach the half-hour break at $810.  That's tied for 275th place, with 373 players still competing.

:34 IN: We return from the break to J-J.  We double the blind to 200 and get about four callers.  The flop is a somewhat concerning K-10-10.  But the table checks.  The turn is 2.  The lead player bets 100 (minimum), and we call.  The river is 10, giving us a full house.  But we're still wary, and when the lead player bets 100 again we call.  Good decision -- he has K-2, and his full house is better.

:36 IN: The next hand brings us Kh-Jd.  The flop is Q-10-5 - all hearts!  We have big draws, and the table checks.  The turn is 5s.  Everyone checks again. The river is 9s, providing us a straight.  We bet all our remaining 260, get called by two players -- and one of them also has K-J!  We split the pot to win $802, while the third player in the mix is eliminated.

:44 IN: We have 10d-5h.  The flop is Q-9-4 - all diamonds!  The table checks.  The turn is 8s, giving us an added straight draw.  The table checks once more.  But the river is Ks.  We missed it all, and Ace high wins the pot.

:47 IN: We have 8d-8c with 502 chips left.  We're not tempted to push with a mid-range pair, so we simply call the blind of 200.

ON THE FLOP: 2-8-4 - all spades.

It's not a flush draw for us, but with 302 chips left the decision is obvious.  When a player across from us bets 380, we go all-in again.  Another player calls, setting up a sidepot for the remaining two players.

ON THE TURN: Qh

We don't think that helped anyone.  Or at least we hope not.

ON THE RIVER: Js

A fourth spade is absolutely the last thing we want to see -- especially since it didn't pair the board to give us a full house.

The player who bet 360 earlier now goes all in -- and shows the King of spades.  His chase to the river pays off, and our night is finished.

Final result: 226th place out of 935 players.  Our February finish (disrupted by McAfee) actually was more than 100 places higher.

Poker Night 308: A Suite Result

The Tournament Director who predicted poker at The Sports Page would die after its rules change seems to be right.  But as of tonight, there's a new place in our city to play Texas Hold 'em on Monday nights.  "The Suite" is a new bar and grill in a nice strip mall -- and the managers have not changed the location's history of being a nice Mediterranean restaurant.  (At least one player was annoyed by the fact a burger and fries cost $10; the Director promised to work on developing specials.)

Opening night drew enough players to fill four tables -- and a relative lack of special items for gaining massive amounts of poker chips gave us hope of having an even chance of success....

BLINDS: 50/100

IN THE POCKET: Jack of diamonds - Jack of spades

We won a pot a couple of hands before this one, by making three of a kind.  Now we're second in line to play, at a table with a couple of devil-may-care bettors.  So we limp to see if anyone jumps.  Sorry, no one does.  Most of the table is in.

(We actually knew without looking we had Jd.  It had a tattered corner before the game began, making it a "marked card" -- but the Director wanted players to use that deck as long as they could.)

ON THE FLOP: 9c-7s-6c

We missed -- or did we?!  We have a hidden "overpair."  When the play checks to us, we try to exploit it by betting 400.  About half the table calls.

ON THE TURN: 7h

Now we have two pair, with only one showing.  The play checks to us again, and we turn up the heat a little with a bet of 500.  As best we recall, no one folds.  Is someone hiding a big hand here?

ON THE RIVER: 7c

A third seven gives us a full house.  It also could give someone else quads, but we don't really think of that.  We've set the tempo to this point and see no reason to change.  The play checks to us again, and we bet 1,500 -- a move which frustrates several opponents.

"There's no way I can call, with three sevens out there!" a man says as he folds.  Everyone else folds as well, so we make a nice gain of several thousand chips.

"I had a straight on the flop," the man's girlfriend across the table admits.  She was letting us do all the dirty work, but she inadvertently let us top her.

"I was gonna get you on the river," the man reveals afterward.  He had two clubs, but a third one on the river forced him to freeze.  It was the perfect club for us.

We walked a tightrope after winning that pot, as our stack dwindled and the blinds rose.  An all-in bet in the second hour with A-10 brought an Ace on the flop, which kept us in.  Then at a semifinal table, an all-in move with two diamonds brought a winning flush on the river.  Then after the two-hour break, when we were about to be forced all-in again for the Big Blind, we heard two very comforting words: "Final table!"

There was another successful push at the final table as well.  With the Big Blind near again, we went all-in with A-3 of diamonds.  A man called with A-4 -- but we hit a 3 on the turn to jump from 10,000 to 35,000!  Other players' pushes didn't work so well, and the field dwindled to six.  When we dealt ourselves 7-7, we felt good about pushing again.  Low cards kept showing, which helped -- but a 9 on the river gave another player a winning hand.

He knocked out another man along with us.  But we went home thankful and satisfied.  Our 11-night drought of making final tables ended.  And we finished tied for fifth place, giving us our highest place on the ladder since the end of December.

MINISTRY MOMENT: "Word is you're going to win tonight," a man said to us in a joking manner at the one-hour break.

"I don't know who that word is, so I don't believe him," we answered.  But then a thought came to us: "In the beginning was the Word.... that's the One I believe."

The man seemed to know what we meant.  But perhaps you might not....

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. - John 1:1

"Wait a minute," you may be saying.  "Wasn't there only God in the beginning?"  Well, let's check the Bible record....

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.... Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." - Genesis 1:1, 26

Yes, God was creating at the beginning -- but who or what is this "us" later in creation week?  Is it connected with the Word?  And who or what is that Word, anyway?  Offer a comment here if you have an explanation; we'll offer our own answers in a future post.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 109 final tables in 308 nights (35.4%) - 17 cashes.