Animals at the Table

In one of his books, Phil Hellmuth describes the traits of poker players as one of five "animal types."  But none of them include the animal most often mentioned during a tournament.  Take this recent online chat, where we tried to bet a player out of a hand....


Dealer:  smokedawg70 wins Main Pot ($765) with Straight, seven to jack
Me:  very good
Me:  couldn't run you off
flvron1:  stubborn donkey
flvron1:  I said it 4 U

Donkey can be used to describe all kinds of players -- such as the ones who stay in through long-shot chases of cards, or the ones who go all-in with 3-6 offsuit trying to seize antes and blinds.  But did you know that label also is put on people in the Bible?

He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers. - Genesis 16:12

Wow -- does that sound like poker, or what?

Yet verse 11 shows this "wild donkey" label didn't come from a losing poker player -- but from "the angel of the Lord."  It describes Ishmael, the first child of Abraham.  The first part of chapter 16 explains how he was born to a servant maid, outside of God's plan.  After a son was born to Abraham's wife, Ishmael and his mother were sent away (Genesis 21:8-18).

So if God's angel can call babies "donkeys" even before they're born, does that mean we should throw around that label at a poker table?  The chat continues, showing what we did....

Me:  I wouldn't put it
Me:  that way.
flvron1:  diplomat
Me:  Of course. 
flvron1:  right on
Me:  "Word fitly spoken"
Me:  as I read in a book.
flvron1:  got 2 book
Me:  This is a Good Book.

As in a different Old Testament book....

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.  As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear. - Proverbs 25:11-12 (KJV)

God can talk tough when He wishes.  The Bible makes that clear.  But there are times when biting the tongue and being gracious can be a better example of the love Jesus Christ showed.

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. - Colossians 4:6

An old phrase says you can make more friends with honey than with vinegar.  That's what we try to do in poker rooms -- to make a Christian walk appealing, not a turn-off.

So play like a donkey, if you think it will work.  Sometimes it will; sometimes it won't.  But we're leaving the "donkey" labels to God -- trying instead to be as "harmless as doves" (Matthew 10:16, KJV).