Poker Night 300: Semi-Showoff

We'll mark five years of live poker-playing in June.  But tonight's trip to The Red Barn marked our 300th live tournament -- and we went with dreams of a "perfect game," a la bowling.  In Texas Hold 'em, of course, the odds of that happening are incredibly unlikely.  So we waited for the right moments....

BLINDS: 100/200

IN THE POCKET: A-2 offsuit

We're dealing, and swimming in quiet waters.  After winning a small early pot, we have about 8,000 chips.  No one raises ahead of us, so we decide to see how far an Ace can go.  We call, and most of the table is in.

ON THE FLOP: Q-3-10

High card?  Not exactly thrilling.  But the table is playing on the tight side, which could help.  Everyone checks.

ON THE TURN: As

Top pair now looks better -- but our "kicker" card is one many players probably would punt.  A man across from us bets 500.  Could he be stabbing with something like a pair of 3's?  Two players call before our turn comes, and we call with them to see how strong we are.

ON THE RIVER: 2s

Wow -- "runner-runner" gives us two pair!  But one of the flop cards was a spade (we forget which), and now three spades are on the board.

Oops, make that four spades: the man who bet before now turns over 5s.  But he keeps his other card face-down, to play a mind game with the rest of the table.  He holds chips out for betting, but then checks.  He fools a woman on the other end of the table for a moment -- but then she goes ahead and bets 500.  We don't hesitate to call.  But surprisingly, the man who showed that spade then folds.

"I hit it on the river," we say as we show both our cards.  And the two pair is good enough!  The woman who bet has A-7, so we claim a nice pot.

"I wish I'd had one card," the psy-ops player says -- revealing his other card was 8h, and he never had a chance of hitting a flush.

We squared off with that man at the end of the first hour, holding A-10.  The Ace was a diamond, and running cards came again for a "nut flush."  We pushed with it, and jumped to 10,500 chips at the break.  But attempts to play promising cards fell short after that -- and a final push with K-10 and A-A-10 showing ran into a player with a third Ace.  He wasn't bluffing, and we were eliminated in 16th place.

MINISTRY MOMENT: "Seven," that bluffing player called during one hand as the river card was dealt -- and he was correct: a seven!

"Three," he said minutes later -- and we was right again: a three on the river!

"Why don't you go ahead and prophesy when the world's going to end?" we said in response.

We meant that as a joke.  But sadly, some ministers actually have done that -- and embarrassed themselves in the process.  Harold Camping became a worldwide laughingstock last year, and his radio network has paid a financial price for it.  While he's not getting as much publicity, another minister claims Jesus will come back on Pentecost Sunday in late May.  These "prophets" try to explain away the Lord's clear warning:

But of that day and that hour knows no man; no, not the angels which are in heaven, neither the Son, but the Father.  Take ye heed, watch and pray: for you know not when the time is. - Mark 13:32-33 (KJV)

Predictions about who will win a big poker tournament seldom turn out to be accurate.  Predictions about when Jesus will return haven't been right yet -- but the Bible indicates one of these days, it will happen.

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there you may be also. - John 14:3

Put your hope in these words of Jesus -- because without them, you have no hope of surviving beyond this life at all.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 108 final tables in 300 nights (36.0%) - 17 cashes.