The Buddy System?

"Are you going to fold?" the man to our right asked quietly at a recent poker night.

"I haven't even looked yet," we answered. We sat in the big blind, with the questioner in the small blind -- and somewhere along the way, we learned it's proper poker etiquette not to look at your cards until it's your turn.

Someone to our left had pushed all-in before the flop with a lot of chips. Mr. Small Blind told us he was going to fold if we called, but he was ready to call if we stayed out of the hand.

On the one hand, this might be considered a compliment -- that the man respected us enough to ask about our plans. (Or perhaps he trusted us to play only quality hands.)

But on the other hand, this struck us as a moment of cheating. Why should we share privileged information with one player, and not the others at the table?

The Old Testament prophet Amos scolded well-to-do Israelites who acted unethically.... "skimping the measure, boosting the price and cheating with dishonest scales" (Amos 8:5). Before Samuel retired from leadership, he made the people of Israel publicly declare he had not "cheated or oppressed us" (I Samuel 12:3-4). We try to operate the same way -- in day-to-day living, as well as poker.

If a director or dealer in a major tournament had caught that man asking us such a question, the man probably would have been punished on the spot -- perhaps even ordered to leave the table.

So what did we do in this free game? We tried to deflect the question with humor. "You're an adult now," we told Mr. Small Blind in a quiet mother-knows-best tone. "You can make your own decisions."

That man wound up folding -- and when we saw 4-2 in the Big Blind, we did as well. The man was annoyed with us. But when the hand played out, he admitted his cards would have lost the pot.

So by not playing along with a potential cheater, we actually saved him at least 1,000 chips. He didn't really thank us, though. Certainly not in a loud voice.