Poker night #53: Quieting the Loudmouth

"I've only had a fifth today." So said the man across the table from us Thursday night, as if we'd show him some sympathy.

"Only," I deadpanned.

That's the thing about playing poker at bars like at Lil Kim's Cove. Some players are there for fun and booze -- and sometimes the players with too much booze in their system can be the most dangerous players at the table. They'll bet big with nothing, steal pots and last far longer than they should.

A young man they call Buddha was like that tonight. He admitted from the start he was drunk, and it showed. He talked in shouts, more than anything. He reached for neighbors' chips like a grabby two-year-old. His comments were annoying and a bit crude, but occasionally entertaining.

At one point it was Buddha's turn to deal. "This is tough," he said in a bit of a joke.

"It takes dexterity," I said in a test. "Do you know what dexterity means?" I expected a funny response, but he gave a correct answer.

"I'm smart drunk," he said. A dangerous player, indeed.

Buddha was the man several players wanted to see eliminated. He actually was put out early, when an all-in bluff didn't work. But Buddha took advantage of the house rule giving you 1,000 chips for every drink, and came back to our table with 2,000 more. So it was left for us to quietly take care of that, when the moment was right:

BLINDS: 100/200.

IN THE POCKET: Aces!

We're in the leadoff position, and bet 500. The players next to us quickly fold, but Buddha does what we thought he might do. He's emboldened.

"I'm all-in." Buddha haphazardly throws in about 3,200 chips. He keeps talking loudly, as a woman to our right asks if we'll "check it down" if she calls along with us. It takes her two requests before we can hear her, and we accept that.

"I've got rockets," I tell a partially-stunned table -- and Buddha quiets down after that. He has something like a J-9. We didn't set much of a trap, but for a drunken man it doesn't take much.

ON THE FLOP: Nothing which helps anyone else. Our aces hold up. We gain about 6,500 chips from two players. And we gain "thank yous" from a few players, even at other tables.

But our big stack of 15,000 slowly evaporated after that. We survived to a nine-player final table, but had to put in a big blind of 4,000 right away with only 6,000 on us. A player bet big, and we felt forced to play an 8-7 in hopes of a straight. It almost happened with a J-9 came -- but there was no 10, and we lost to an A-10.

MINISTRY MOMENT: Buddha knew the word dexterity, but we quipped a couple of minutes later: "He doesn't know moderation." based on Phil. 4:5, we hope you do.

A couple of other players around us later admitted they don't drink. We hardly ever do, and never do at the poker table. But we didn't really use that as a springboard to Biblical topics.

But as we left in ninth place (one hand at a final table is still a final table finish), we showed our "Jesus as your Savior" coin to a woman to our left. She reminded us she'd seen it before, and agreed with the message.

UPDATED POKER SCOREBOARD: 23 final tables in 53 nights (43.4%) - 7 cashes.

YAHOO POKER TOTAL: $11,579 - a RECORD high for us, up $718 since 2009 began!